Pendente Lite Guideline vs Actual Spousal Support (in VA) -- How did it compare in your case? SAHM

[Anonymous]

Stay at home mom. Married almost 20 years. Going through a divorce (2 kids).

Would very much appreciate your feedback or examples of how the spousal support you ended up with (via settlement or court) compared to the pendente lite guidelines (26% of payor's monthly gross income).

Did what you ended up with for spousal support exceed this, come in at right around the same amount, or fall below this? Also, if you feel comfortable sharing, how long did that spousal support last for what length marriage?

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stay at home mom. Married almost 20 years. Going through a divorce (2 kids).

Would very much appreciate your feedback or examples of how the spousal support you ended up with (via settlement or court) compared to the pendente lite guidelines (26% of payor's monthly gross income).

Did what you ended up with for spousal support exceed this, come in at right around the same amount, or fall below this? Also, if you feel comfortable sharing, how long did that spousal support last for what length marriage?

Thank you.

I'm 49, recently divorced, and will be paying alimony until I retire. We were married over 22 years. We settled, although it almost went to court. I make significantly more. Payments came in right around Pendente Lite guideline. Unmodifiable for the first few years and then fully modifiable upon a material change (meaning I can petition the court to end alimony if the situation changes). I probably could have held out and done slightly better, but I didn't want to put my kids through a court battle, nor did I want to shell out any more money to the lawyers.

[Anonymous]

Just like DB Cooper, women always want to know how big the payday will be before they step off the plane's rear staircase.

[Anonymous]

I should also mention I live in VA. The pendente lite guideline in VA is based on a formula and does not just arbitrarily take 26% from the higher earning spouse. It'll be much less b/c you're gonna have to go to work and support yourself. The formula takes into account the difference between your salary and your husband's.

[Anonymous]

It depends. I got alimony for life. I was married for 24 years. I was a SAHM. My ex is a doctor with a high salary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends. I got alimony for life. I was married for 24 years. I was a SAHM. My ex is a doctor with a high salary.

Which state and percentage of his salary were you awarded, age at the time of divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends. I got alimony for life. I was married for 24 years. I was a SAHM. My ex is a doctor with a high salary.

Which state and percentage of his salary were you awarded, age at the time of divorce?

Age, 48. I get $120,00 a year tax free for the first 8 years. My alimony goes down every year till I reach the age of 65. After that I get $36,000 a year tax free.

He makes $650,000 a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends. I got alimony for life. I was married for 24 years. I was a SAHM. My ex is a doctor with a high salary.

Which state and percentage of his salary were you awarded, age at the time of divorce?

Age, 48. I get $120,00 a year tax free for the first 8 years. My alimony goes down every year till I reach the age of 65. After that I get $36,000 a year tax free.

He makes $650,000 a year.

Wow. I don't even $10,000 for two kids in Virginia. Can the child support go up and the alimony go down in VA?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just like DB Cooper, women always want to know how big the payday will be before they step off the plane's rear staircase.

After giving up having a career and salary so our H could pursue his - yes. Yes we do.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you will have to get a job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends. I got alimony for life. I was married for 24 years. I was a SAHM. My ex is a doctor with a high salary.

Which state and percentage of his salary were you awarded, age at the time of divorce?

Age, 48. I get $120,00 a year tax free for the first 8 years. My alimony goes down every year till I reach the age of 65. After that I get $36,000 a year tax free.

He makes $650,000 a year.

Wow. I don't even $10,000 for two kids in Virginia. Can the child support go up and the alimony go down in VA?

I asked for and got higher alimony which is for life. I got minimal child support. My kids were older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends. I got alimony for life. I was married for 24 years. I was a SAHM. My ex is a doctor with a high salary.

Which state and percentage of his salary were you awarded, age at the time of divorce?

Age, 48. I get $120,00 a year tax free for the first 8 years. My alimony goes down every year till I reach the age of 65. After that I get $36,000 a year tax free.

He makes $650,000 a year.

Wow. I don't even $10,000 for two kids in Virginia. Can the child support go up and the alimony go down in VA?

I asked for and got higher alimony which is for life. I got minimal child support. My kids were older.

Did you have to fight for it or did your ex agree it was the right thing to do? Do you work now that you are divorced?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends. I got alimony for life. I was married for 24 years. I was a SAHM. My ex is a doctor with a high salary.

Which state and percentage of his salary were you awarded, age at the time of divorce?

Age, 48. I get $120,00 a year tax free for the first 8 years. My alimony goes down every year till I reach the age of 65. After that I get $36,000 a year tax free.

He makes $650,000 a year.

Wow. I don't even $10,000 for two kids in Virginia. Can the child support go up and the alimony go down in VA?

I asked for and got higher alimony which is for life. I got minimal child support. My kids were older.

Did you have to fight for it or did your ex agree it was the right thing to do? Do you work now that you are divorced?

Did not go to court. Spent $100,00 going back and forth with attorneys. Ex was an ass.

[Anonymous]

Yikes at this thread. Never get married fellas!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends. I got alimony for life. I was married for 24 years. I was a SAHM. My ex is a doctor with a high salary.

Which state and percentage of his salary were you awarded, age at the time of divorce?

Age, 48. I get $120,00 a year tax free for the first 8 years. My alimony goes down every year till I reach the age of 65. After that I get $36,000 a year tax free.

He makes $650,000 a year.

My a..hole exH was "fired" just as I filed for divorce. Then went back to the same company as a "consultant", right after signing the settlement agreement.

How do you plan for your retirement? It's a nice alimony but without assets or savings after 65 y.o. it will be tight..