Mom Cliques. I had no idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP was sharing her experience and how it made her feel. She wasn’t asking for your analysis of the situation but looking to see if others have had similar experiences. Some of you are so self absorbed and didn’t even read, understand, or care to, what the poster was looking to discuss. So why engage? To show anonymously your viscous selves and then smile to women you don’t like tomorrow at school pick up?

OP was asking for nasty, judgmental stories about women that people barely know so she could laugh at them and call them names. So sorry most people didn't comply.

Or she was asking for points of comparison so she can understand if she is the only one experiencing being excluded. But go on, continue to misunderstand and hate. That will surely be something your kids pick up from you.

+1

Running into several school mom acquaintances during the day, while on a work event planning meeting, is not “being excluded”

It might be and it might not. It really depends on the circumstances.

The real problem on this thread is that people on both sides are making assumptions about OPs situation that may or may not be true and then laying down a firm edict like yours above that allows for no other possibility.

My guess is that most moms on this thread are not horrible people who purposefully exclude in real life. And many of us have been on both sides of this scenario. But for some reason on this thread, people are coming down hard and being quite belligerent. it's bizarre really.

OP provided zero evidence that these women purposefully excluded her. None. If it had been there, don't you think she would have included it in her posts?

This is not court, you aren't a prosecutor. No one ever provides "evidence" of any interpersonal reaction on this website, it's anonymous and who has the time.

OP *felt* excluded. That's the subject of the thread. Sure, she might have misinterpreted the situation, always possible. But the idea that it's her job to prove to you that her feelings accurately reflected what happened is silly, because she could never do so.

She saw a big group of women from her kids' school, including a few people she considers close friends, and she felt excluded. The end. There is no point in litigating that. If you want to say "I think you probably misinterpreted this situation and are overreacting" that's fine. But demanding evidence to prove that her perception of the situation is correct? It's hostile and misguided. I hate it when people do this in threads because it just bogs them down in "I don't believe OP, OP is a sociopath, OP is a troll" and nothing fruitful is discussed. If you don't believe an OP, just... don't respond to the thread. It's that easy.

Um, yes, people provide "evidence" of things on here all the time. It's called giving people the facts. It wouldn't have taken that long for OP to do that. She spent the time posting emojis, using all bold type, and hitting at least one additional button for all the punctuation she used. Explaining what exactly had happened would have taken less time.

Everyone who said OP was misinterpreting the situation and overreacted was called names. So that's how that worked out.

+1

She asserts that the others “felt awkward” but how the heck does she know how others are feeling?

If she said shared that she went over to say hi and they ignored her or were short with her or gave her a nasty look and walked away she’d have a point. But why not share if that is what happened vs a vague assertion that she knows what is in the mind of other people. I think she was projecting her feelings onto them most likely.

The number of you who seem to think this is a court of law and you've been asked to come and assess the validity of OP's feelings is amazing.

I tend to believe that OP was excluded in some way and the other women looked awkward, specifically because she didn't provide an airtight story with perfect facts that would prove to you once and for all that this women definitely excluded her. Her story rings true to me because she's not trying to present it in this perfect way that will satisfy a bunch of people who are determined to say she had no right to feel the way she did.

Does that mean the other women are terrible? No! I've been in the group that left someone out before. I am not a terrible person and in most cases I either didn't know someone had been left out or I felt there was a good reason for doing it. But also -- I bet it didn't feel good for those women.

You can believe OP that it was awkward and that she felt bad without needing to call in the National Guard to investigate exactly what happened here.

Some of us are reading her post and saying based on the lack of supportive facts (even with some tweaks for privacy reasons) and that it is full of subjective statements, we do not have reason to fully believe her objective experience.

Some people are reading her post and inferring facts (likely from their own personal experiences as we are all prone to do) and saying she likely interpreted the situation reasonably as a rejection.

I fall in the former camp. You fall in the latter. Such is the discussion. Just because I can in theory believe OP doesn’t mean I do or that I’m wrong for not thinking her take is accurate based on what has been shared.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP was sharing her experience and how it made her feel. She wasn’t asking for your analysis of the situation but looking to see if others have had similar experiences. Some of you are so self absorbed and didn’t even read, understand, or care to, what the poster was looking to discuss. So why engage? To show anonymously your viscous selves and then smile to women you don’t like tomorrow at school pick up?

OP was asking for nasty, judgmental stories about women that people barely know so she could laugh at them and call them names. So sorry most people didn't comply.

Or she was asking for points of comparison so she can understand if she is the only one experiencing being excluded. But go on, continue to misunderstand and hate. That will surely be something your kids pick up from you.

+1

Running into several school mom acquaintances during the day, while on a work event planning meeting, is not “being excluded”

It might be and it might not. It really depends on the circumstances.

The real problem on this thread is that people on both sides are making assumptions about OPs situation that may or may not be true and then laying down a firm edict like yours above that allows for no other possibility.

My guess is that most moms on this thread are not horrible people who purposefully exclude in real life. And many of us have been on both sides of this scenario. But for some reason on this thread, people are coming down hard and being quite belligerent. it's bizarre really.

OP provided zero evidence that these women purposefully excluded her. None. If it had been there, don't you think she would have included it in her posts?

This is not court, you aren't a prosecutor. No one ever provides "evidence" of any interpersonal reaction on this website, it's anonymous and who has the time.

OP *felt* excluded. That's the subject of the thread. Sure, she might have misinterpreted the situation, always possible. But the idea that it's her job to prove to you that her feelings accurately reflected what happened is silly, because she could never do so.

She saw a big group of women from her kids' school, including a few people she considers close friends, and she felt excluded. The end. There is no point in litigating that. If you want to say "I think you probably misinterpreted this situation and are overreacting" that's fine. But demanding evidence to prove that her perception of the situation is correct? It's hostile and misguided. I hate it when people do this in threads because it just bogs them down in "I don't believe OP, OP is a sociopath, OP is a troll" and nothing fruitful is discussed. If you don't believe an OP, just... don't respond to the thread. It's that easy.

Um, yes, people provide "evidence" of things on here all the time. It's called giving people the facts. It wouldn't have taken that long for OP to do that. She spent the time posting emojis, using all bold type, and hitting at least one additional button for all the punctuation she used. Explaining what exactly had happened would have taken less time.

Everyone who said OP was misinterpreting the situation and overreacted was called names. So that's how that worked out.

+1

She asserts that the others “felt awkward” but how the heck does she know how others are feeling?

If she said shared that she went over to say hi and they ignored her or were short with her or gave her a nasty look and walked away she’d have a point. But why not share if that is what happened vs a vague assertion that she knows what is in the mind of other people. I think she was projecting her feelings onto them most likely.

The number of you who seem to think this is a court of law and you've been asked to come and assess the validity of OP's feelings is amazing.

I tend to believe that OP was excluded in some way and the other women looked awkward, specifically because she didn't provide an airtight story with perfect facts that would prove to you once and for all that this women definitely excluded her. Her story rings true to me because she's not trying to present it in this perfect way that will satisfy a bunch of people who are determined to say she had no right to feel the way she did.

Does that mean the other women are terrible? No! I've been in the group that left someone out before. I am not a terrible person and in most cases I either didn't know someone had been left out or I felt there was a good reason for doing it. But also -- I bet it didn't feel good for those women.

You can believe OP that it was awkward and that she felt bad without needing to call in the National Guard to investigate exactly what happened here.

Okay well just like you believe OP’s story rings true, I do not believe her based on the lack of supportive facts and overreactive text message (nearly everyone agrees on the latter part). My personal take is that someone who sends that type of message is an over-reactor based on subjective feelings and not a reliable narrator of objective facts.

We’ll just have to disagree. Such is the nature of discussion boards. Because I have a different take doesn’t mean I’m treating it like a court of law. I’m just interpreting the same post in a different way as are many others.

I agree with you that it's fine if we disagree. I don't have a problem with that.

What I think is weird is people saying "show me the evidence! I want evidence!" What? You either identify/believe OP or you don't. If you don't, I don't even understand why you'd hang around on the thread.

There is zero point in arguing over what "really" happened because we'll never know. So you can either engage with it at face value (okay, assuming this is what happened, here's my take) or you can decide it's bunk and move on.

I agree with you there is 0 point in arguing because we won’t know the truth or if she is a troll.

But I disagree that there is anything wrong with pointing out a lack of evidence to believe her. Why is saying there isn’t any evidence to support X assertion worse than saying well I’m going to assume evidence does support X. Either way we’re both just guessing and replying on our take.

And I don’t think I have to take OP at face value to engage. Since when is believing everything posted online in an anonymous forum a requisite for sharing an opinion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP was sharing her experience and how it made her feel. She wasn’t asking for your analysis of the situation but looking to see if others have had similar experiences. Some of you are so self absorbed and didn’t even read, understand, or care to, what the poster was looking to discuss. So why engage? To show anonymously your viscous selves and then smile to women you don’t like tomorrow at school pick up?

OP was asking for nasty, judgmental stories about women that people barely know so she could laugh at them and call them names. So sorry most people didn't comply.

Or she was asking for points of comparison so she can understand if she is the only one experiencing being excluded. But go on, continue to misunderstand and hate. That will surely be something your kids pick up from you.

+1

Running into several school mom acquaintances during the day, while on a work event planning meeting, is not “being excluded”

It might be and it might not. It really depends on the circumstances.

The real problem on this thread is that people on both sides are making assumptions about OPs situation that may or may not be true and then laying down a firm edict like yours above that allows for no other possibility.

My guess is that most moms on this thread are not horrible people who purposefully exclude in real life. And many of us have been on both sides of this scenario. But for some reason on this thread, people are coming down hard and being quite belligerent. it's bizarre really.

OP provided zero evidence that these women purposefully excluded her. None. If it had been there, don't you think she would have included it in her posts?

This is not court, you aren't a prosecutor. No one ever provides "evidence" of any interpersonal reaction on this website, it's anonymous and who has the time.

OP *felt* excluded. That's the subject of the thread. Sure, she might have misinterpreted the situation, always possible. But the idea that it's her job to prove to you that her feelings accurately reflected what happened is silly, because she could never do so.

She saw a big group of women from her kids' school, including a few people she considers close friends, and she felt excluded. The end. There is no point in litigating that. If you want to say "I think you probably misinterpreted this situation and are overreacting" that's fine. But demanding evidence to prove that her perception of the situation is correct? It's hostile and misguided. I hate it when people do this in threads because it just bogs them down in "I don't believe OP, OP is a sociopath, OP is a troll" and nothing fruitful is discussed. If you don't believe an OP, just... don't respond to the thread. It's that easy.

Um, yes, people provide "evidence" of things on here all the time. It's called giving people the facts. It wouldn't have taken that long for OP to do that. She spent the time posting emojis, using all bold type, and hitting at least one additional button for all the punctuation she used. Explaining what exactly had happened would have taken less time.

Everyone who said OP was misinterpreting the situation and overreacted was called names. So that's how that worked out.

+1

She asserts that the others “felt awkward” but how the heck does she know how others are feeling?

If she said shared that she went over to say hi and they ignored her or were short with her or gave her a nasty look and walked away she’d have a point. But why not share if that is what happened vs a vague assertion that she knows what is in the mind of other people. I think she was projecting her feelings onto them most likely.

The number of you who seem to think this is a court of law and you've been asked to come and assess the validity of OP's feelings is amazing.

I tend to believe that OP was excluded in some way and the other women looked awkward, specifically because she didn't provide an airtight story with perfect facts that would prove to you once and for all that this women definitely excluded her. Her story rings true to me because she's not trying to present it in this perfect way that will satisfy a bunch of people who are determined to say she had no right to feel the way she did.

Does that mean the other women are terrible? No! I've been in the group that left someone out before. I am not a terrible person and in most cases I either didn't know someone had been left out or I felt there was a good reason for doing it. But also -- I bet it didn't feel good for those women.

You can believe OP that it was awkward and that she felt bad without needing to call in the National Guard to investigate exactly what happened here.

Okay well just like you believe OP’s story rings true, I do not believe her based on the lack of supportive facts and overreactive text message (nearly everyone agrees on the latter part). My personal take is that someone who sends that type of message is an over-reactor based on subjective feelings and not a reliable narrator of objective facts.

We’ll just have to disagree. Such is the nature of discussion boards. Because I have a different take doesn’t mean I’m treating it like a court of law. I’m just interpreting the same post in a different way as are many others.

I agree with you that it's fine if we disagree. I don't have a problem with that.

What I think is weird is people saying "show me the evidence! I want evidence!" What? You either identify/believe OP or you don't. If you don't, I don't even understand why you'd hang around on the thread.

There is zero point in arguing over what "really" happened because we'll never know. So you can either engage with it at face value (okay, assuming this is what happened, here's my take) or you can decide it's bunk and move on.

+100 and THANK YOU.

Whenever someone tries to just take the OP at face value and say "oh yeah, I've experienced that" or even "I can see why that was awkward" or whatever, a bunch of posters are like " We don't even know this happened! OP probably didn't even know them! They didn't feel awkward how would OP know that! OP just posted this to make fun of women who hang out with friends!" Like.... Okay, maybe. But we'll never know. So can we just talk about cliques or experiences feeling excluded from mom groups as though it is true, since otherwise there's no point to the thread?

I often encounter threads or posters where I just think "no, this person is lying." But I don't engage in extensive back and forth over it because it's pointless. People can say whatever they want in here. If it doesn't pass the smell test, the best thing to do is ignore.

Those of you who don't believe OP turned something that probably should have been a 3-4 page thread into a 50 page thread. For nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP was sharing her experience and how it made her feel. She wasn’t asking for your analysis of the situation but looking to see if others have had similar experiences. Some of you are so self absorbed and didn’t even read, understand, or care to, what the poster was looking to discuss. So why engage? To show anonymously your viscous selves and then smile to women you don’t like tomorrow at school pick up?

OP was asking for nasty, judgmental stories about women that people barely know so she could laugh at them and call them names. So sorry most people didn't comply.

Or she was asking for points of comparison so she can understand if she is the only one experiencing being excluded. But go on, continue to misunderstand and hate. That will surely be something your kids pick up from you.

+1

Running into several school mom acquaintances during the day, while on a work event planning meeting, is not “being excluded”

It might be and it might not. It really depends on the circumstances.

The real problem on this thread is that people on both sides are making assumptions about OPs situation that may or may not be true and then laying down a firm edict like yours above that allows for no other possibility.

My guess is that most moms on this thread are not horrible people who purposefully exclude in real life. And many of us have been on both sides of this scenario. But for some reason on this thread, people are coming down hard and being quite belligerent. it's bizarre really.

OP provided zero evidence that these women purposefully excluded her. None. If it had been there, don't you think she would have included it in her posts?

This is not court, you aren't a prosecutor. No one ever provides "evidence" of any interpersonal reaction on this website, it's anonymous and who has the time.

OP *felt* excluded. That's the subject of the thread. Sure, she might have misinterpreted the situation, always possible. But the idea that it's her job to prove to you that her feelings accurately reflected what happened is silly, because she could never do so.

She saw a big group of women from her kids' school, including a few people she considers close friends, and she felt excluded. The end. There is no point in litigating that. If you want to say "I think you probably misinterpreted this situation and are overreacting" that's fine. But demanding evidence to prove that her perception of the situation is correct? It's hostile and misguided. I hate it when people do this in threads because it just bogs them down in "I don't believe OP, OP is a sociopath, OP is a troll" and nothing fruitful is discussed. If you don't believe an OP, just... don't respond to the thread. It's that easy.

Um, yes, people provide "evidence" of things on here all the time. It's called giving people the facts. It wouldn't have taken that long for OP to do that. She spent the time posting emojis, using all bold type, and hitting at least one additional button for all the punctuation she used. Explaining what exactly had happened would have taken less time.

Everyone who said OP was misinterpreting the situation and overreacted was called names. So that's how that worked out.

+1

She asserts that the others “felt awkward” but how the heck does she know how others are feeling?

If she said shared that she went over to say hi and they ignored her or were short with her or gave her a nasty look and walked away she’d have a point. But why not share if that is what happened vs a vague assertion that she knows what is in the mind of other people. I think she was projecting her feelings onto them most likely.

The number of you who seem to think this is a court of law and you've been asked to come and assess the validity of OP's feelings is amazing.

I tend to believe that OP was excluded in some way and the other women looked awkward, specifically because she didn't provide an airtight story with perfect facts that would prove to you once and for all that this women definitely excluded her. Her story rings true to me because she's not trying to present it in this perfect way that will satisfy a bunch of people who are determined to say she had no right to feel the way she did.

Does that mean the other women are terrible? No! I've been in the group that left someone out before. I am not a terrible person and in most cases I either didn't know someone had been left out or I felt there was a good reason for doing it. But also -- I bet it didn't feel good for those women.

You can believe OP that it was awkward and that she felt bad without needing to call in the National Guard to investigate exactly what happened here.

Okay well just like you believe OP’s story rings true, I do not believe her based on the lack of supportive facts and overreactive text message (nearly everyone agrees on the latter part). My personal take is that someone who sends that type of message is an over-reactor based on subjective feelings and not a reliable narrator of objective facts.

We’ll just have to disagree. Such is the nature of discussion boards. Because I have a different take doesn’t mean I’m treating it like a court of law. I’m just interpreting the same post in a different way as are many others.

I agree with you that it's fine if we disagree. I don't have a problem with that.

What I think is weird is people saying "show me the evidence! I want evidence!" What? You either identify/believe OP or you don't. If you don't, I don't even understand why you'd hang around on the thread.

There is zero point in arguing over what "really" happened because we'll never know. So you can either engage with it at face value (okay, assuming this is what happened, here's my take) or you can decide it's bunk and move on.

I agree with you there is 0 point in arguing because we won’t know the truth or if she is a troll.

But I disagree that there is anything wrong with pointing out a lack of evidence to believe her. Why is saying there isn’t any evidence to support X assertion worse than saying well I’m going to assume evidence does support X. Either way we’re both just guessing and replying on our take.

And I don’t think I have to take OP at face value to engage. Since when is believing everything posted online in an anonymous forum a requisite for sharing an opinion?

Because it derails the thread (while also boosting it in Recent Topics).

The best thing to do if you find an OP unbelievable or a bad faith actor is to leave the thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP was sharing her experience and how it made her feel. She wasn’t asking for your analysis of the situation but looking to see if others have had similar experiences. Some of you are so self absorbed and didn’t even read, understand, or care to, what the poster was looking to discuss. So why engage? To show anonymously your viscous selves and then smile to women you don’t like tomorrow at school pick up?

OP was asking for nasty, judgmental stories about women that people barely know so she could laugh at them and call them names. So sorry most people didn't comply.

Or she was asking for points of comparison so she can understand if she is the only one experiencing being excluded. But go on, continue to misunderstand and hate. That will surely be something your kids pick up from you.

+1

Running into several school mom acquaintances during the day, while on a work event planning meeting, is not “being excluded”

It might be and it might not. It really depends on the circumstances.

The real problem on this thread is that people on both sides are making assumptions about OPs situation that may or may not be true and then laying down a firm edict like yours above that allows for no other possibility.

My guess is that most moms on this thread are not horrible people who purposefully exclude in real life. And many of us have been on both sides of this scenario. But for some reason on this thread, people are coming down hard and being quite belligerent. it's bizarre really.

OP provided zero evidence that these women purposefully excluded her. None. If it had been there, don't you think she would have included it in her posts?

This is not court, you aren't a prosecutor. No one ever provides "evidence" of any interpersonal reaction on this website, it's anonymous and who has the time.

OP *felt* excluded. That's the subject of the thread. Sure, she might have misinterpreted the situation, always possible. But the idea that it's her job to prove to you that her feelings accurately reflected what happened is silly, because she could never do so.

She saw a big group of women from her kids' school, including a few people she considers close friends, and she felt excluded. The end. There is no point in litigating that. If you want to say "I think you probably misinterpreted this situation and are overreacting" that's fine. But demanding evidence to prove that her perception of the situation is correct? It's hostile and misguided. I hate it when people do this in threads because it just bogs them down in "I don't believe OP, OP is a sociopath, OP is a troll" and nothing fruitful is discussed. If you don't believe an OP, just... don't respond to the thread. It's that easy.

Um, yes, people provide "evidence" of things on here all the time. It's called giving people the facts. It wouldn't have taken that long for OP to do that. She spent the time posting emojis, using all bold type, and hitting at least one additional button for all the punctuation she used. Explaining what exactly had happened would have taken less time.

Everyone who said OP was misinterpreting the situation and overreacted was called names. So that's how that worked out.

+1

She asserts that the others “felt awkward” but how the heck does she know how others are feeling?

If she said shared that she went over to say hi and they ignored her or were short with her or gave her a nasty look and walked away she’d have a point. But why not share if that is what happened vs a vague assertion that she knows what is in the mind of other people. I think she was projecting her feelings onto them most likely.

The number of you who seem to think this is a court of law and you've been asked to come and assess the validity of OP's feelings is amazing.

I tend to believe that OP was excluded in some way and the other women looked awkward, specifically because she didn't provide an airtight story with perfect facts that would prove to you once and for all that this women definitely excluded her. Her story rings true to me because she's not trying to present it in this perfect way that will satisfy a bunch of people who are determined to say she had no right to feel the way she did.

Does that mean the other women are terrible? No! I've been in the group that left someone out before. I am not a terrible person and in most cases I either didn't know someone had been left out or I felt there was a good reason for doing it. But also -- I bet it didn't feel good for those women.

You can believe OP that it was awkward and that she felt bad without needing to call in the National Guard to investigate exactly what happened here.

Okay well just like you believe OP’s story rings true, I do not believe her based on the lack of supportive facts and overreactive text message (nearly everyone agrees on the latter part). My personal take is that someone who sends that type of message is an over-reactor based on subjective feelings and not a reliable narrator of objective facts.

We’ll just have to disagree. Such is the nature of discussion boards. Because I have a different take doesn’t mean I’m treating it like a court of law. I’m just interpreting the same post in a different way as are many others.

I agree with you that it's fine if we disagree. I don't have a problem with that.

What I think is weird is people saying "show me the evidence! I want evidence!" What? You either identify/believe OP or you don't. If you don't, I don't even understand why you'd hang around on the thread.

There is zero point in arguing over what "really" happened because we'll never know. So you can either engage with it at face value (okay, assuming this is what happened, here's my take) or you can decide it's bunk and move on.

+100 and THANK YOU.

Whenever someone tries to just take the OP at face value and say "oh yeah, I've experienced that" or even "I can see why that was awkward" or whatever, a bunch of posters are like " We don't even know this happened! OP probably didn't even know them! They didn't feel awkward how would OP know that! OP just posted this to make fun of women who hang out with friends!" Like.... Okay, maybe. But we'll never know. So can we just talk about cliques or experiences feeling excluded from mom groups as though it is true, since otherwise there's no point to the thread?

I often encounter threads or posters where I just think "no, this person is lying." But I don't engage in extensive back and forth over it because it's pointless. People can say whatever they want in here. If it doesn't pass the smell test, the best thing to do is ignore.

Those of you who don't believe OP turned something that probably should have been a 3-4 page thread into a 50 page thread. For nothing.

You realize every thread in here is "for nothing" right? We're not solving global issues here.

[Anonymous]

I don’t get how an adult woman could care if a group of mere acquaintances didn’t invite her to something.

All the ladies at my yoga studio get together all of the time. I’ve only been invited once or twice and couldn’t make it. I’ve run into them out and about for lunch/drinks and jimmy crack corn I don’t care. What’s it to me? Is it a clique? Nope, it’s just a group of women who like to hang out with each other. They’re not doing it at my expense.

Besides, I’m too busy to care. Now, if my friends got together and didn’t include me, that would hurt. But mommies on a bus stop? I really, really could not care less.

Don’t you have other stuff to do, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP was sharing her experience and how it made her feel. She wasn’t asking for your analysis of the situation but looking to see if others have had similar experiences. Some of you are so self absorbed and didn’t even read, understand, or care to, what the poster was looking to discuss. So why engage? To show anonymously your viscous selves and then smile to women you don’t like tomorrow at school pick up?

OP was asking for nasty, judgmental stories about women that people barely know so she could laugh at them and call them names. So sorry most people didn't comply.

Or she was asking for points of comparison so she can understand if she is the only one experiencing being excluded. But go on, continue to misunderstand and hate. That will surely be something your kids pick up from you.

+1

Running into several school mom acquaintances during the day, while on a work event planning meeting, is not “being excluded”

It might be and it might not. It really depends on the circumstances.

The real problem on this thread is that people on both sides are making assumptions about OPs situation that may or may not be true and then laying down a firm edict like yours above that allows for no other possibility.

My guess is that most moms on this thread are not horrible people who purposefully exclude in real life. And many of us have been on both sides of this scenario. But for some reason on this thread, people are coming down hard and being quite belligerent. it's bizarre really.

OP provided zero evidence that these women purposefully excluded her. None. If it had been there, don't you think she would have included it in her posts?

This is not court, you aren't a prosecutor. No one ever provides "evidence" of any interpersonal reaction on this website, it's anonymous and who has the time.

OP *felt* excluded. That's the subject of the thread. Sure, she might have misinterpreted the situation, always possible. But the idea that it's her job to prove to you that her feelings accurately reflected what happened is silly, because she could never do so.

She saw a big group of women from her kids' school, including a few people she considers close friends, and she felt excluded. The end. There is no point in litigating that. If you want to say "I think you probably misinterpreted this situation and are overreacting" that's fine. But demanding evidence to prove that her perception of the situation is correct? It's hostile and misguided. I hate it when people do this in threads because it just bogs them down in "I don't believe OP, OP is a sociopath, OP is a troll" and nothing fruitful is discussed. If you don't believe an OP, just... don't respond to the thread. It's that easy.

Um, yes, people provide "evidence" of things on here all the time. It's called giving people the facts. It wouldn't have taken that long for OP to do that. She spent the time posting emojis, using all bold type, and hitting at least one additional button for all the punctuation she used. Explaining what exactly had happened would have taken less time.

Everyone who said OP was misinterpreting the situation and overreacted was called names. So that's how that worked out.

+1

She asserts that the others “felt awkward” but how the heck does she know how others are feeling?

If she said shared that she went over to say hi and they ignored her or were short with her or gave her a nasty look and walked away she’d have a point. But why not share if that is what happened vs a vague assertion that she knows what is in the mind of other people. I think she was projecting her feelings onto them most likely.

The number of you who seem to think this is a court of law and you've been asked to come and assess the validity of OP's feelings is amazing.

I tend to believe that OP was excluded in some way and the other women looked awkward, specifically because she didn't provide an airtight story with perfect facts that would prove to you once and for all that this women definitely excluded her. Her story rings true to me because she's not trying to present it in this perfect way that will satisfy a bunch of people who are determined to say she had no right to feel the way she did.

Does that mean the other women are terrible? No! I've been in the group that left someone out before. I am not a terrible person and in most cases I either didn't know someone had been left out or I felt there was a good reason for doing it. But also -- I bet it didn't feel good for those women.

You can believe OP that it was awkward and that she felt bad without needing to call in the National Guard to investigate exactly what happened here.

Some of us are reading her post and saying based on the lack of supportive facts (even with some tweaks for privacy reasons) and that it is full of subjective statements, we do not have reason to fully believe her objective experience.

Some people are reading her post and inferring facts (likely from their own personal experiences as we are all prone to do) and saying she likely interpreted the situation reasonably as a rejection.

I fall in the former camp. You fall in the latter. Such is the discussion. Just because I can in theory believe OP doesn’t mean I do or that I’m wrong for not thinking her take is accurate based on what has been shared.

But that discussion is pointless. "I believe her." "Well I don't." We can't prove it either way so that's the end of that.

The reason you have to take OP at face value to have a productive conversation is that it's the only way to get to the underlying issue, which is more interesting than debating an unknowable fact like whether these women did in fact look awkward upon seeing OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP was sharing her experience and how it made her feel. She wasn’t asking for your analysis of the situation but looking to see if others have had similar experiences. Some of you are so self absorbed and didn’t even read, understand, or care to, what the poster was looking to discuss. So why engage? To show anonymously your viscous selves and then smile to women you don’t like tomorrow at school pick up?

OP was asking for nasty, judgmental stories about women that people barely know so she could laugh at them and call them names. So sorry most people didn't comply.

Or she was asking for points of comparison so she can understand if she is the only one experiencing being excluded. But go on, continue to misunderstand and hate. That will surely be something your kids pick up from you.

+1

Running into several school mom acquaintances during the day, while on a work event planning meeting, is not “being excluded”

It might be and it might not. It really depends on the circumstances.

The real problem on this thread is that people on both sides are making assumptions about OPs situation that may or may not be true and then laying down a firm edict like yours above that allows for no other possibility.

My guess is that most moms on this thread are not horrible people who purposefully exclude in real life. And many of us have been on both sides of this scenario. But for some reason on this thread, people are coming down hard and being quite belligerent. it's bizarre really.

OP provided zero evidence that these women purposefully excluded her. None. If it had been there, don't you think she would have included it in her posts?

This is not court, you aren't a prosecutor. No one ever provides "evidence" of any interpersonal reaction on this website, it's anonymous and who has the time.

OP *felt* excluded. That's the subject of the thread. Sure, she might have misinterpreted the situation, always possible. But the idea that it's her job to prove to you that her feelings accurately reflected what happened is silly, because she could never do so.

She saw a big group of women from her kids' school, including a few people she considers close friends, and she felt excluded. The end. There is no point in litigating that. If you want to say "I think you probably misinterpreted this situation and are overreacting" that's fine. But demanding evidence to prove that her perception of the situation is correct? It's hostile and misguided. I hate it when people do this in threads because it just bogs them down in "I don't believe OP, OP is a sociopath, OP is a troll" and nothing fruitful is discussed. If you don't believe an OP, just... don't respond to the thread. It's that easy.

Um, yes, people provide "evidence" of things on here all the time. It's called giving people the facts. It wouldn't have taken that long for OP to do that. She spent the time posting emojis, using all bold type, and hitting at least one additional button for all the punctuation she used. Explaining what exactly had happened would have taken less time.

Everyone who said OP was misinterpreting the situation and overreacted was called names. So that's how that worked out.

+1

She asserts that the others “felt awkward” but how the heck does she know how others are feeling?

If she said shared that she went over to say hi and they ignored her or were short with her or gave her a nasty look and walked away she’d have a point. But why not share if that is what happened vs a vague assertion that she knows what is in the mind of other people. I think she was projecting her feelings onto them most likely.

The number of you who seem to think this is a court of law and you've been asked to come and assess the validity of OP's feelings is amazing.

I tend to believe that OP was excluded in some way and the other women looked awkward, specifically because she didn't provide an airtight story with perfect facts that would prove to you once and for all that this women definitely excluded her. Her story rings true to me because she's not trying to present it in this perfect way that will satisfy a bunch of people who are determined to say she had no right to feel the way she did.

Does that mean the other women are terrible? No! I've been in the group that left someone out before. I am not a terrible person and in most cases I either didn't know someone had been left out or I felt there was a good reason for doing it. But also -- I bet it didn't feel good for those women.

You can believe OP that it was awkward and that she felt bad without needing to call in the National Guard to investigate exactly what happened here.

Okay well just like you believe OP’s story rings true, I do not believe her based on the lack of supportive facts and overreactive text message (nearly everyone agrees on the latter part). My personal take is that someone who sends that type of message is an over-reactor based on subjective feelings and not a reliable narrator of objective facts.

We’ll just have to disagree. Such is the nature of discussion boards. Because I have a different take doesn’t mean I’m treating it like a court of law. I’m just interpreting the same post in a different way as are many others.

I agree with you that it's fine if we disagree. I don't have a problem with that.

What I think is weird is people saying "show me the evidence! I want evidence!" What? You either identify/believe OP or you don't. If you don't, I don't even understand why you'd hang around on the thread.

There is zero point in arguing over what "really" happened because we'll never know. So you can either engage with it at face value (okay, assuming this is what happened, here's my take) or you can decide it's bunk and move on.

+100 and THANK YOU.

Whenever someone tries to just take the OP at face value and say "oh yeah, I've experienced that" or even "I can see why that was awkward" or whatever, a bunch of posters are like " We don't even know this happened! OP probably didn't even know them! They didn't feel awkward how would OP know that! OP just posted this to make fun of women who hang out with friends!" Like.... Okay, maybe. But we'll never know. So can we just talk about cliques or experiences feeling excluded from mom groups as though it is true, since otherwise there's no point to the thread?

I often encounter threads or posters where I just think "no, this person is lying." But I don't engage in extensive back and forth over it because it's pointless. People can say whatever they want in here. If it doesn't pass the smell test, the best thing to do is ignore.

Those of you who don't believe OP turned something that probably should have been a 3-4 page thread into a 50 page thread. For nothing.

You realize every thread in here is "for nothing" right? We're not solving global issues here.

I have interesting conversations about topics that interest me on here all the time. Otherworldly SE I wouldn't be on here.

[Anonymous]

^ otherwise I wouldnt

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP was sharing her experience and how it made her feel. She wasn’t asking for your analysis of the situation but looking to see if others have had similar experiences. Some of you are so self absorbed and didn’t even read, understand, or care to, what the poster was looking to discuss. So why engage? To show anonymously your viscous selves and then smile to women you don’t like tomorrow at school pick up?

OP was asking for nasty, judgmental stories about women that people barely know so she could laugh at them and call them names. So sorry most people didn't comply.

Or she was asking for points of comparison so she can understand if she is the only one experiencing being excluded. But go on, continue to misunderstand and hate. That will surely be something your kids pick up from you.

+1

Running into several school mom acquaintances during the day, while on a work event planning meeting, is not “being excluded”

It might be and it might not. It really depends on the circumstances.

The real problem on this thread is that people on both sides are making assumptions about OPs situation that may or may not be true and then laying down a firm edict like yours above that allows for no other possibility.

My guess is that most moms on this thread are not horrible people who purposefully exclude in real life. And many of us have been on both sides of this scenario. But for some reason on this thread, people are coming down hard and being quite belligerent. it's bizarre really.

OP provided zero evidence that these women purposefully excluded her. None. If it had been there, don't you think she would have included it in her posts?

This is not court, you aren't a prosecutor. No one ever provides "evidence" of any interpersonal reaction on this website, it's anonymous and who has the time.

OP *felt* excluded. That's the subject of the thread. Sure, she might have misinterpreted the situation, always possible. But the idea that it's her job to prove to you that her feelings accurately reflected what happened is silly, because she could never do so.

She saw a big group of women from her kids' school, including a few people she considers close friends, and she felt excluded. The end. There is no point in litigating that. If you want to say "I think you probably misinterpreted this situation and are overreacting" that's fine. But demanding evidence to prove that her perception of the situation is correct? It's hostile and misguided. I hate it when people do this in threads because it just bogs them down in "I don't believe OP, OP is a sociopath, OP is a troll" and nothing fruitful is discussed. If you don't believe an OP, just... don't respond to the thread. It's that easy.

Um, yes, people provide "evidence" of things on here all the time. It's called giving people the facts. It wouldn't have taken that long for OP to do that. She spent the time posting emojis, using all bold type, and hitting at least one additional button for all the punctuation she used. Explaining what exactly had happened would have taken less time.

Everyone who said OP was misinterpreting the situation and overreacted was called names. So that's how that worked out.

+1

She asserts that the others “felt awkward” but how the heck does she know how others are feeling?

If she said shared that she went over to say hi and they ignored her or were short with her or gave her a nasty look and walked away she’d have a point. But why not share if that is what happened vs a vague assertion that she knows what is in the mind of other people. I think she was projecting her feelings onto them most likely.

The number of you who seem to think this is a court of law and you've been asked to come and assess the validity of OP's feelings is amazing.

I tend to believe that OP was excluded in some way and the other women looked awkward, specifically because she didn't provide an airtight story with perfect facts that would prove to you once and for all that this women definitely excluded her. Her story rings true to me because she's not trying to present it in this perfect way that will satisfy a bunch of people who are determined to say she had no right to feel the way she did.

Does that mean the other women are terrible? No! I've been in the group that left someone out before. I am not a terrible person and in most cases I either didn't know someone had been left out or I felt there was a good reason for doing it. But also -- I bet it didn't feel good for those women.

You can believe OP that it was awkward and that she felt bad without needing to call in the National Guard to investigate exactly what happened here.

Okay well just like you believe OP’s story rings true, I do not believe her based on the lack of supportive facts and overreactive text message (nearly everyone agrees on the latter part). My personal take is that someone who sends that type of message is an over-reactor based on subjective feelings and not a reliable narrator of objective facts.

We’ll just have to disagree. Such is the nature of discussion boards. Because I have a different take doesn’t mean I’m treating it like a court of law. I’m just interpreting the same post in a different way as are many others.

I agree with you that it's fine if we disagree. I don't have a problem with that.

What I think is weird is people saying "show me the evidence! I want evidence!" What? You either identify/believe OP or you don't. If you don't, I don't even understand why you'd hang around on the thread.

There is zero point in arguing over what "really" happened because we'll never know. So you can either engage with it at face value (okay, assuming this is what happened, here's my take) or you can decide it's bunk and move on.

+100 and THANK YOU.

Whenever someone tries to just take the OP at face value and say "oh yeah, I've experienced that" or even "I can see why that was awkward" or whatever, a bunch of posters are like " We don't even know this happened! OP probably didn't even know them! They didn't feel awkward how would OP know that! OP just posted this to make fun of women who hang out with friends!" Like.... Okay, maybe. But we'll never know. So can we just talk about cliques or experiences feeling excluded from mom groups as though it is true, since otherwise there's no point to the thread?

I often encounter threads or posters where I just think "no, this person is lying." But I don't engage in extensive back and forth over it because it's pointless. People can say whatever they want in here. If it doesn't pass the smell test, the best thing to do is ignore.

Those of you who don't believe OP turned something that probably should have been a 3-4 page thread into a 50 page thread. For nothing.

You realize every thread in here is "for nothing" right? We're not solving global issues here.

I have interesting conversations about topics that interest me on here all the time. Otherworldly SE I wouldn't be on here.

You're very interested in whether OP was excluded from a group of acquaintances or not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP was sharing her experience and how it made her feel. She wasn’t asking for your analysis of the situation but looking to see if others have had similar experiences. Some of you are so self absorbed and didn’t even read, understand, or care to, what the poster was looking to discuss. So why engage? To show anonymously your viscous selves and then smile to women you don’t like tomorrow at school pick up?

OP was asking for nasty, judgmental stories about women that people barely know so she could laugh at them and call them names. So sorry most people didn't comply.

Or she was asking for points of comparison so she can understand if she is the only one experiencing being excluded. But go on, continue to misunderstand and hate. That will surely be something your kids pick up from you.

+1

Running into several school mom acquaintances during the day, while on a work event planning meeting, is not “being excluded”

It might be and it might not. It really depends on the circumstances.

The real problem on this thread is that people on both sides are making assumptions about OPs situation that may or may not be true and then laying down a firm edict like yours above that allows for no other possibility.

My guess is that most moms on this thread are not horrible people who purposefully exclude in real life. And many of us have been on both sides of this scenario. But for some reason on this thread, people are coming down hard and being quite belligerent. it's bizarre really.

OP provided zero evidence that these women purposefully excluded her. None. If it had been there, don't you think she would have included it in her posts?

This is not court, you aren't a prosecutor. No one ever provides "evidence" of any interpersonal reaction on this website, it's anonymous and who has the time.

OP *felt* excluded. That's the subject of the thread. Sure, she might have misinterpreted the situation, always possible. But the idea that it's her job to prove to you that her feelings accurately reflected what happened is silly, because she could never do so.

She saw a big group of women from her kids' school, including a few people she considers close friends, and she felt excluded. The end. There is no point in litigating that. If you want to say "I think you probably misinterpreted this situation and are overreacting" that's fine. But demanding evidence to prove that her perception of the situation is correct? It's hostile and misguided. I hate it when people do this in threads because it just bogs them down in "I don't believe OP, OP is a sociopath, OP is a troll" and nothing fruitful is discussed. If you don't believe an OP, just... don't respond to the thread. It's that easy.

Um, yes, people provide "evidence" of things on here all the time. It's called giving people the facts. It wouldn't have taken that long for OP to do that. She spent the time posting emojis, using all bold type, and hitting at least one additional button for all the punctuation she used. Explaining what exactly had happened would have taken less time.

Everyone who said OP was misinterpreting the situation and overreacted was called names. So that's how that worked out.

+1

She asserts that the others “felt awkward” but how the heck does she know how others are feeling?

If she said shared that she went over to say hi and they ignored her or were short with her or gave her a nasty look and walked away she’d have a point. But why not share if that is what happened vs a vague assertion that she knows what is in the mind of other people. I think she was projecting her feelings onto them most likely.

The number of you who seem to think this is a court of law and you've been asked to come and assess the validity of OP's feelings is amazing.

I tend to believe that OP was excluded in some way and the other women looked awkward, specifically because she didn't provide an airtight story with perfect facts that would prove to you once and for all that this women definitely excluded her. Her story rings true to me because she's not trying to present it in this perfect way that will satisfy a bunch of people who are determined to say she had no right to feel the way she did.

Does that mean the other women are terrible? No! I've been in the group that left someone out before. I am not a terrible person and in most cases I either didn't know someone had been left out or I felt there was a good reason for doing it. But also -- I bet it didn't feel good for those women.

You can believe OP that it was awkward and that she felt bad without needing to call in the National Guard to investigate exactly what happened here.

Okay well just like you believe OP’s story rings true, I do not believe her based on the lack of supportive facts and overreactive text message (nearly everyone agrees on the latter part). My personal take is that someone who sends that type of message is an over-reactor based on subjective feelings and not a reliable narrator of objective facts.

We’ll just have to disagree. Such is the nature of discussion boards. Because I have a different take doesn’t mean I’m treating it like a court of law. I’m just interpreting the same post in a different way as are many others.

I agree with you that it's fine if we disagree. I don't have a problem with that.

What I think is weird is people saying "show me the evidence! I want evidence!" What? You either identify/believe OP or you don't. If you don't, I don't even understand why you'd hang around on the thread.

There is zero point in arguing over what "really" happened because we'll never know. So you can either engage with it at face value (okay, assuming this is what happened, here's my take) or you can decide it's bunk and move on.

+100 and THANK YOU.

Whenever someone tries to just take the OP at face value and say "oh yeah, I've experienced that" or even "I can see why that was awkward" or whatever, a bunch of posters are like " We don't even know this happened! OP probably didn't even know them! They didn't feel awkward how would OP know that! OP just posted this to make fun of women who hang out with friends!" Like.... Okay, maybe. But we'll never know. So can we just talk about cliques or experiences feeling excluded from mom groups as though it is true, since otherwise there's no point to the thread?

I often encounter threads or posters where I just think "no, this person is lying." But I don't engage in extensive back and forth over it because it's pointless. People can say whatever they want in here. If it doesn't pass the smell test, the best thing to do is ignore.

Those of you who don't believe OP turned something that probably should have been a 3-4 page thread into a 50 page thread. For nothing.

You realize every thread in here is "for nothing" right? We're not solving global issues here.

DP
What?! This is news to me! Why have I wasted so much time here if not to solve global issues?

[Anonymous]

Did OP every give an update regarding the text? What did the other mom text back? Or was this all a troll?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP was sharing her experience and how it made her feel. She wasn’t asking for your analysis of the situation but looking to see if others have had similar experiences. Some of you are so self absorbed and didn’t even read, understand, or care to, what the poster was looking to discuss. So why engage? To show anonymously your viscous selves and then smile to women you don’t like tomorrow at school pick up?

OP was asking for nasty, judgmental stories about women that people barely know so she could laugh at them and call them names. So sorry most people didn't comply.

Or she was asking for points of comparison so she can understand if she is the only one experiencing being excluded. But go on, continue to misunderstand and hate. That will surely be something your kids pick up from you.

+1

Running into several school mom acquaintances during the day, while on a work event planning meeting, is not “being excluded”

It might be and it might not. It really depends on the circumstances.

The real problem on this thread is that people on both sides are making assumptions about OPs situation that may or may not be true and then laying down a firm edict like yours above that allows for no other possibility.

My guess is that most moms on this thread are not horrible people who purposefully exclude in real life. And many of us have been on both sides of this scenario. But for some reason on this thread, people are coming down hard and being quite belligerent. it's bizarre really.

OP provided zero evidence that these women purposefully excluded her. None. If it had been there, don't you think she would have included it in her posts?

This is not court, you aren't a prosecutor. No one ever provides "evidence" of any interpersonal reaction on this website, it's anonymous and who has the time.

OP *felt* excluded. That's the subject of the thread. Sure, she might have misinterpreted the situation, always possible. But the idea that it's her job to prove to you that her feelings accurately reflected what happened is silly, because she could never do so.

She saw a big group of women from her kids' school, including a few people she considers close friends, and she felt excluded. The end. There is no point in litigating that. If you want to say "I think you probably misinterpreted this situation and are overreacting" that's fine. But demanding evidence to prove that her perception of the situation is correct? It's hostile and misguided. I hate it when people do this in threads because it just bogs them down in "I don't believe OP, OP is a sociopath, OP is a troll" and nothing fruitful is discussed. If you don't believe an OP, just... don't respond to the thread. It's that easy.

Um, yes, people provide "evidence" of things on here all the time. It's called giving people the facts. It wouldn't have taken that long for OP to do that. She spent the time posting emojis, using all bold type, and hitting at least one additional button for all the punctuation she used. Explaining what exactly had happened would have taken less time.

Everyone who said OP was misinterpreting the situation and overreacted was called names. So that's how that worked out.

+1

She asserts that the others “felt awkward” but how the heck does she know how others are feeling?

If she said shared that she went over to say hi and they ignored her or were short with her or gave her a nasty look and walked away she’d have a point. But why not share if that is what happened vs a vague assertion that she knows what is in the mind of other people. I think she was projecting her feelings onto them most likely.

The number of you who seem to think this is a court of law and you've been asked to come and assess the validity of OP's feelings is amazing.

I tend to believe that OP was excluded in some way and the other women looked awkward, specifically because she didn't provide an airtight story with perfect facts that would prove to you once and for all that this women definitely excluded her. Her story rings true to me because she's not trying to present it in this perfect way that will satisfy a bunch of people who are determined to say she had no right to feel the way she did.

Does that mean the other women are terrible? No! I've been in the group that left someone out before. I am not a terrible person and in most cases I either didn't know someone had been left out or I felt there was a good reason for doing it. But also -- I bet it didn't feel good for those women.

You can believe OP that it was awkward and that she felt bad without needing to call in the National Guard to investigate exactly what happened here.

Some of us are reading her post and saying based on the lack of supportive facts (even with some tweaks for privacy reasons) and that it is full of subjective statements, we do not have reason to fully believe her objective experience.

Some people are reading her post and inferring facts (likely from their own personal experiences as we are all prone to do) and saying she likely interpreted the situation reasonably as a rejection.

I fall in the former camp. You fall in the latter. Such is the discussion. Just because I can in theory believe OP doesn’t mean I do or that I’m wrong for not thinking her take is accurate based on what has been shared.

But that discussion is pointless. "I believe her." "Well I don't." We can't prove it either way so that's the end of that.

The reason you have to take OP at face value to have a productive conversation is that it's the only way to get to the underlying issue, which is more interesting than debating an unknowable fact like whether these women did in fact look awkward upon seeing OP.

You can't have a productive conversation from a faulty premise.

[Anonymous]

Where are we meeting today? It is almost 1pm...

[Anonymous]

Can we pls not do a winery this time?