You should into why this triggers you. |
I (the child in this situation) struggled mightily in college with what we all now know was PTSD and depression, but back then I didn't have help. I went through some shit, dropped out for a few years, was even estranged from my mom for a little bit, but eventually got back on track. My mom helped me find a therapist as a young adult (and got my younger still-at-home sibling into therapy too) and I was able to dig into it all. I am not saying the same will happen for your kid, just sharing what happened with me in hopes it will help you in any way. |
Came back to say that if I had been a different kid I probably would have turned to drugs but I was, at core, a rule follower, partially of my experience as a kid, and drugs were taboo and scary, even party drugs that others seemed to have no qualms about using. I am also the earlier poster who only dated short slight men. |
OP, ignore all the ridiculous and nasty response. You have done everything you can and now have to take your son’s lead. My kid’s therapist said that it’s common for kids to not deal with childhood issues until they are in their 20s or older. As some apps have said, just make sure you and your son have open lines of communication. |
He’s 15 and in 8th grade. You have bigger problems than this Op is upset her ex got remarried. Only she’s allowed to. |
+1. Many of these responses are ridiculous to the point I think the Russian bots are trying to stir the pot. DC’s father, my ex, had a mental health breakdown due to work stress (military). This caused him to become abusive towards our family and we divorced. Ex and DC got into a fight one day, and ex said he was done being his dad (and that he would hurt DC if DC ever went to his home again). I have on occasion asked DC if they had any thoughts they wanted to discuss. DC really hasn’t. DC said they know their father has a mental health condition and it wasn’t DC’s fault. DC doesn’t want ex in their life unless they go to therapy together. Ex doesn’t want to do that. I don’t think it’s wrong to check in with your kid after a traumatic life event. It would be negligent to pretend it never happened and not provide a safe space for your kid to discuss feelings with you. |
Don’t worry OP, the PPs are all the same person with an axe to grind. Some bitter divorced dad no doubt. |
OP, stop responding to these moralizing a-holes. Your story is completely plausible. There is nothing DCUM loves more than to shame and further abuse victims of DV and spousal abuse. It’s pathetic really and has made me detest this site, seeing what sorts of people are here. |
This is not op situation. Op is upset her ex remarried. |
This thread is completely toxic. Report it for deletion.
OP, I'm sorry. |
Yes, but continue to offer to talk an to offer anything you think might help, because your words will bubble up to the surface, right when they start processing and understanding the trauma. |
He said he was fine so stop trying to screw him up for life! |
+1 It sounds like this poster is so angry "Stop bringing up old $#it, never mind that I did that, it's in the past" and maybe he's mellowed but that undercurrent is there and it's important to keep your guard up |
I will most certainly impact him in negative ways at some point. Probably already has, but like most teenagers he probably 1) lacks insight into it at this point, or 2) isn’t going to tell you about it. |
Good catch. |