Both things were on my mind. We were alone together driving to the school because his Dad was away on his honeymoon. It's also on my mind that he's leaving my house in a few short years and, at that point, I'm not there to help. |
His brain is protecting him by suppressing the memories. He’s not ready to examine it. Leave him be. |
BS. You ignored it. No one has to be abused to recognize abuse. You’re telling us that someone who is not abused wouldn’t know, which is ignorant. You admit that he was crazy before you got pregnant. Again, you are complicit but would never admit it. |
+1. It's such an unnecessarily negative framing. I'm divorced and would never use this term with my child. In fact I thought it was kind of standard practice not to use that term? Definitely no therapist would ever recommend it. |
Victim blaming 🙄 |
I used it in the title but not with him. You can see by his response I used the framing that we aren't together and weren't for most of his life. |
I’m not blaming the child. I’m blaming the mom who is complicit. You’re irresponsible like the mom. |
Sure you didn’t use it with him and it was all appropriate. Right. |
Why are you in here crowdsourcing this? You seem to enjoy this with doing this to your son to look like a hero. |
I'm happy to hear more of your advice, I'm just saying that I don't use that terminology. We don't have a therapist - he's never been to therapy. School had him in a support group when some of the really bad abuse was happening at my request. Because he doesn't have any issues I've never pushed it. But maybe that's a mistake? |
I'm asking people with similar situations for advice about what they wish they had done differently. E.g. kid had a mental breakdown in college and I wished I had them in therapy before college. Unfortunately this seems to attract more people with judgement than experience. |
You revel in abusing your child in your own way. You were letting him get abused. Your above post said “really bad abuse was happening.” You’re cementing that you were in fact complicit. You’re a terrible mother. |
You should look into why this triggers you. |
People don’t routinely let their children get abused so it’s justifiable to judge. You just like to blame others. |
Not OP but you have no idea what you are talking about so please exit this thread. |