OP - was he spending $1000 on each date? |
OP here. He was not spending $1,000 per date. If I had to guess I would say he spent $200-$500 on the dates depending on the activity, and we would go on them 1-2 times a week. We don’t live in DC, so this is expensive to me.
None of this was requested or needed by me. I would be happy with one inexpensive date every week or two weeks. Say something like a free museum and very casual lunch or breakfast at coffee shop, or going to a movie or something. He just dramatically went from planning lots of fun stuff to doing nothing. I know he is not broke because he spends plenty on himself. He is not rich either. He’s really sweet to me in general. I just want him to take me out still. I don’t see dating as something that should ever stop, though I do expect it to become less frequent once the relationship has become serious. |
Tell him it is important for you to have dates so you can be recharged and inform him it doesn’t have to be expensive. |
200-500 on a date is too much, even for those making half a million a year. Tell him you are ok with free or inexpensive activities as long as he’s showing interest in planning |
Sounds like you are already married. |
Do you think some is financial? I don't like to spend money on outings (I'm a woman) unless it's something I really want to do. Going out to dinner is not something I want to spend money on. The 2 of you should be able to meet each other halfway. |
I totally agree |
Bc he feels emasculated. He wants to pay just can’t sustain what he started. |
Agree it’s relevant several years into relationship but not right away. And people do go out, have social life etc |
$500 dates twice a week? Yeah that’s outrageous, no wonder he stopped. I can’t believe you think cooking dinner for him is equivalent to this that you feel entitled to $1000/week dates |
Yep. |
OP, why don't you plan dates? I'm confused. If you do it, it encourages him to reciprocate. Also show him you can plan a nice date for $100 or less. You need to be doing special things for him too. Have you pulled back on things you used to do when you were first dating? |
Do you live together? And, 200-500 per date at 2x a week? Is that a typo? |
If you're planning dates and he's turning you down maybe he's seeing a future with you and doesn't want to spend the money, yours or his. Do you have long term plans and goals? Buying a house? Stop pissing money away on "dates" and enjoy each other's company more simply. |
As opposed to the OP who wants to be wined and dined on a regular basis as she got a little too used to the $200-500/night dates? |