Boyfriend doesn’t take me on dates anymore

[Anonymous]

Do the dates you want have to be lavish? Can they just be dates? Maybe he is tired or burnt out; did you appreciate these dates; did you ever reciprocate?

And, have you used your words and actually told him this or are you expecting him to read your mind?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[mastodon]

Anonymous wrote:Tough love: He doesn't like you anymore.

He probably liked the chase more than he liked you in the first place? Why is he still around? Inertia, probably.

Yes I think he's trying to get her to break up with him and think it's her idea.

DP, wow, you have vivid imaginations.

[Anonymous]

are you expecting him to read your mind?

Somehow he WAS reading her mind pretty well a few months ago...

[Anonymous]

He probably doesn’t want to spend more money.

Are you paying at all for these lavish dates?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He probably doesn’t want to spend more money.

Are you paying at all for these lavish dates?

OP said above she invited and offered to pay for some, but he declined. Because her paying for one date means he would need to reciprocate/pay for the next one, and he doesn't want to!

I was in a relationship with someone like that: he wouldn't invite me or be very lazy planning, but also scolded me for giving him anything material. For example, I bought him an electric kettle just because his was very old and rusty. We liked to have tea at his place. He wasn't grateful for the gift, and we soon broke up.

[Anonymous]

He might be more introverted than he originally let on, and the concept of always planning and going out, on top of what I assume is a day job, is more than he really wants.

[Anonymous]

He’s no longer wooing you and now you are in a long term relationship. You don’t go on dates, you do fun things together that can be organized by either of you. If he has no interest in going out and having fun, that’s an issue. We’ve been married a long time and we still have fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s landed the prize, now he thinks he doesn’t have to work anymore.

OP here. I sense this a little bit. But I’d say the way he works for the prize has changed over time. He doesn’t plan the dates but he does do the dishes, is a good listener when I have a bad day, showers me with attentive sex, is kind to my friends and family, etc. He is honestly a great guy. So I’ve been wondering if maybe I’m being high maintenance for wanting the dates back?

How much does he make? This, my friends is a perfect example of dating leverage. Early investment is key. Now though he’s converting acts of service bc they’re more sustainable.

I gotta say, as someone 20 years into a very successful relationship, a conversion to "acts of service" is, in the long run, a good thing.

[Anonymous]

Unacceptable. Ditch him.


-- married 40 years, weekly date night during most of them.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he doesn’t like to go out. Does he have friends he goes out with?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[mastodon]

Anonymous wrote:Tough love: He doesn't like you anymore.

He probably liked the chase more than he liked you in the first place? Why is he still around? Inertia, probably.

Yes I think he's trying to get her to break up with him and think it's her idea.

I disagree, if that were true he wouldn’t still be treating her well in every other domain but planning expensive dates. He’s broke is the problem.

But when she offered to take him on one of these "lavish dates" (lol), he turned her down and didn't want to go out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He probably doesn’t want to spend more money.

Are you paying at all for these lavish dates?

OP said above she invited and offered to pay for some, but he declined. Because her paying for one date means he would need to reciprocate/pay for the next one, and he doesn't want to!

I was in a relationship with someone like that: he wouldn't invite me or be very lazy planning, but also scolded me for giving him anything material. For example, I bought him an electric kettle just because his was very old and rusty. We liked to have tea at his place. He wasn't grateful for the gift, and we soon broke up.

Oh gosh, yeah that's the worst sign -- when you give someone a gift and they react negatively because they feel guilty about taking it because they don't want to give you anything.

[Anonymous]

How much do you think those lavish dates cost?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much do you think those lavish dates cost?

DP why in the world is this important to you? How does this add meaning to this persons challenge? It doesn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much do you think those lavish dates cost?

DP why in the world is this important to you? How does this add meaning to this persons challenge? It doesn't.

Well, if he was spending $1,000 in this dates he found it not sustainable so he stopped.