6 month old refuses to sleep laying flat on back-at a total loss about what to do...

[Anonymous]

I am hoping to hear some similar stories with good outcomes because I don't know what to do. My 6 month old did have mild reflux issues but I think those have dramatically improved. He has NEVER slept in his crib. We have a Fisher Price rocker/sleeper that he is outgrowing, both physically and I think mentally. He will sleep in that for the first 4-5 hours and after that, he won't settle back down again and we usually end up sleeping with us.

I am definately contemplating sleep training but what is holding me back more than anything is that he just won't sleep laying flat on his back in his crib and I have been waiting/hoping that he can. I will put him in his crib when he is sound asleep. Either he will jerk himself back awake right away, or will do so in 30 minutes or less. He still has those jerky arm movements that wake him and prevent him from being still. The swaddling worked for the first 2 months but not anymore and the sleep sack don't prevent the arm movements.

I don't know what to do-does sleep training help calm the jerky limb movements or should I wait until that calms itself? What if he does have a little reflux still and I am just punishing him by making him lie down? The reflux was never really that bad, and I THINK he has outgrown it but of course not completely sure. I really just want him to sleep for more than 4 hours at a stretch-both for me and for him but don't want to make an already bad situation worse. Help!!

[Anonymous]

Try letting him sleep on his stomach.

[Anonymous]

Here's the big secret--MOST babies will not sleep on their backs, because it's really uncomfortable. I did a ton of research on this, because my DD wouldn't, and the SIDS movement had me completely freaked out about it. Baby can sleep on his/her tummy, just keep the blankets, sheets, toys, bumpers, etc. out of the way.

[Anonymous]

The jerky arm movement is a defense mechanism. When you put him in the crib, he feel like he is falling. That's his reflex trying to regain balance. That being said, he does not need to lay flat or still to be able to fall asleep, he needs to find a comfortable position and then fall asleep. If you don't plan on cosleeping, I think sleep training is the best answer for you, but you need to let go of the idea that he will be perfectly still in the crib till he falls asleep. Also, putting him in bed sound asleep is a bad idea. It keeps him from getting familiarized with his own crib and developing the skills he needs to fall asleep on his own. He's probably outgrown the reflux, otherwise he would be bothered by it when you bring him to your bed.

[Anonymous]

Ditto.

[Anonymous]

If he's rolling over and back, he can sleep on his tummy or side - my son will instantly roll onto his belly no matter how we put him to sleep. As the PP said, it's more comfortable, especially if there's a history of reflux. But we also had the jerking awake problem, so once he outgrew the swaddle, we had to sleep train. Now he can fall asleep on his own - we nurse to sleep, but when we put him in the crib he briefly awakens and can settle himself down. This is key for the middle of the night awakenings. Generally he can put himself back to sleep.

[Anonymous]

Maybe this is too simplistic, but we elevated one end of the crib matress slightly at one point, put books under the legs. Will he sleep on his stomach? He rolls now, right? I think that he does still have reflux, otherwise he'd just roll to get in a more comfortable position. It's the acid waking him up. I doubt he is laying flat on his back in your bed either, mine always liked to have a head on a shoulder, etc., which gave elevation. Have you tried putting him down on his stomach? That and side lying, can't remember, but think it was the right side, are supposed to be best for reflux.

The jerky arm movements are a reflex that will be outgrown, sleep training has nothing to do with neuological development.

[Anonymous]

DS would never sleep on his back either. He HATED it. Once he learned how to roll over, it was much better because he'd roll over to his belly. Even now, as a toddler, I have never, ever seen him sleep on his back. He is just a stomach sleeper.

I'd say try putting your son on his belly. If it makes you feel better, just do it during naps, while you're around to watch. That's what we did. Make sure blankets are out of the way.

[Anonymous]

If your baby is willing and able to sleep on his stomach, that may be an option. Since he's six months, I'm assuming he can move his head from side to side when he's on his stomach, roll over, and probably even prop himself on his elbows. If he can do these things and isn't in a high risk group for SIDS, I'd consider trying stomach-sleeping. And if you're uncomforatable with his sleeping on his stomach, discuss it with his pediatrician. Of course, you would follow all other SIDS precautions. Our baby wouldn't sleep on her back, and she HATED swaddling. Finally, after holding her while she slept every night and for every nap, we started letting her sleep on her stomach for naps, while we kept an eye on her. We talked to our pediatrician about it, and knowing that our daughter had stong motor skills at 8 weeks of age, the pediatrician assured us that we really didn't have to worry. Since then, she's been a stomach sleeper during both day and night, and we've been able to sleep ourselves. At six months, your son is almost past the danger zone of SIDS (90% of SIDS cases occur between 0-6 months), and he's probably very mobile and capable of positioning his face without face-planting into the mattress. I wouldn't advocate this for a newborn, but in some situations, I think it's perfectly reasonable and parents shouldn't be overly fearful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The jerky arm movement is a defense mechanism. When you put him in the crib, he feel like he is falling. That's his reflex trying to regain balance. That being said, he does not need to lay flat or still to be able to fall asleep, he needs to find a comfortable position and then fall asleep. If you don't plan on cosleeping, I think sleep training is the best answer for you, but you need to let go of the idea that he will be perfectly still in the crib till he falls asleep. Also, putting him in bed sound asleep is a bad idea. It keeps him from getting familiarized with his own crib and developing the skills he needs to fall asleep on his own. He's probably outgrown the reflux, otherwise he would be bothered by it when you bring him to your bed.

I don't think sleep training should be the initial way of dealing with this problem, as it sounds more like a sleep position issue. It may just put more stress on the baby and on Mom and Dad. I agree with the other posts that suggest letting him sleep on his stomach.

[Anonymous]

OP here-thank you for the suggestions. He does not roll over just yet and the literature on SIDS does freak me out. He has his six month check up in 2 weeks so maybe I will ask the doc about stomach sleeping. Maybe I will try it for naps this weekend while I am at home. The only reason I put him in the crib asleep is that we tried to put him down awake and those arm movements just got in the way of him being able to soothe himself. Please keep the posts coming.

[Anonymous]

You can also try elevating the mattress a bit by putting a rolled-up towel or blanket under the top end. We did this for our DD when she had a stuffy nose, but she also has mild reflux and this seems to be more comfortable than a completely flat mattress. She typically rolls around a bit (and "chats" for awhile) after going down for the night, then ends up partially on her side.

I agree with PPs though that it's important to familiarize your son with his crib and with a routine that will allow him to know that it's time for bed and time for sleep. Playing a CD, some white noise, singing, patting, whatever -- just try to establish a pattern of a short, simple routine and that will help "cue" him that it's time to sleep. If you're committed to getting him to sleep in his crib, focus on that long-term goal, even if you have a few tough nights ahead to make it work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here-thank you for the suggestions. He does not roll over just yet and the literature on SIDS does freak me out. He has his six month check up in 2 weeks so maybe I will ask the doc about stomach sleeping. Maybe I will try it for naps this weekend while I am at home. The only reason I put him in the crib asleep is that we tried to put him down awake and those arm movements just got in the way of him being able to soothe himself. Please keep the posts coming.

All babies have those arm movements and they still find a way to fall asleep. He just needs to get used to sleeping in the crib.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here-thank you for the suggestions. He does not roll over just yet and the literature on SIDS does freak me out. He has his six month check up in 2 weeks so maybe I will ask the doc about stomach sleeping. Maybe I will try it for naps this weekend while I am at home. The only reason I put him in the crib asleep is that we tried to put him down awake and those arm movements just got in the way of him being able to soothe himself. Please keep the posts coming.

A couple suggestions:

Consider trying stomach sleeping for naps and see how it goes. Really, at 6 months they are at a very very low risk for SIDS--not no risk, but it is teeny tiny. We started stomach sleeping for naps when he was about 4 months. Can your child roll from stomach to back? Does he have good head control? Those are two things that made me feel better about stomach sleeping.

For sleep training at night--we actually went through something similar, thinking he likes to sleep on his stomach, so how can we possibly sleep train him on his back? (he could roll from back to stomach but not the other way). Well, we did it anyway at 6 months and it was fine. Within a couple days he was rolling to his side and then to his stomach. I would give sleep training a shot for a few days if you are open to it, putting the baby down on his back, and see what happens. It sounds like you are being too careful to have everything just so when he sleeps (we did exactly the same thing for awhile so I sympathize) and he is just not going to learn to sleep well if you keep doing that. He needs to learn how to settle himself and fall asleep independently.

Good luck! I know this is hard.

[Anonymous]

He may not be able to roll over, but surely he can lift his head if needed or turn his head as to not suffocate. As soon as my son figured out he could sleep on his belly, that was the END of him sleeping on his back. And he sleeps wonderfully on his tummy. I would just give in to it.