how old does your daughter have to be to wear a bikini?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, FFS. There is nothing sexual about a 7-year-old girl's body no matter what she is wearing (or not wearing) unless she's being viewed by a pedophile, in which case it STILL doesn't matter what she is or isn't wearing.

I was sexually abused by my stepfather starting at the age of 6.5. Had he seen me in a 2 piece bathing suit? Yes. So had my father, uncles, male cousins,grandfathers, step-grandfathers, older stepbrothers, & male friends of the family, most of whom were alone with me on numerous occasions, as well.Yet none of these other men/older boys sexually abused me.Because they weren't pedophiles.

My sister was 18 months older than me & also wore a 2 piece bathing suit in front of our stepfather multiple times each summer. We looked exactly alike except she was a bit taller, tanned a bit more than I did & was slender while I was downright scrawny. If one of us looked more "attractive" in a bikini as a young girl, it was definitely her. Yet our stepfather never sexually abused her. This was almost certainly not because he looked at us in our (often identical) bikinis & thought my prepubescent body looked "sexier" than her prepubescent body but because, due to various factors completely unrelated to our bodies or swimwear choices, I was easier to "groom" & less likely to tell anyone about the abuse.

I could've danced in front of most of the adult/teenaged males in my life naked at 7 & they would have still never had sex with me or touched me in an inappropriate manner. Because they weren't pedophiles. I could've worn nothing but long sleeve shirts & pants or skirts that didn't show so much as my ankle & swam in a full body, baggy wetsuit in front of my stepfather &he still would've molested & raped me. Because he was a pedophile.

Oh, & FWIW, I saw absolutely no correlation whatsoever between when or if my various friends/ female cousins wore bikinis & the age at which they became sexually active.

+1billion on this post!

I'm sorry for everything you've been through. I'm also so glad that you appear to recognize that what happened was in no way your fault, regardless of what you did or did not wear in front of your stepfather. Thanks to how traumatic what happened to you surely was in & of itself, much less coupled with living in a society that seems to, sadly, be full of victim blaming, however, I'm guessing it took you a while to get to where you are now You are a very strong woman.

Thank you for your kind words.

It did take many, many years to get to where I am now in regards to my stepmother's abuse (& my mother's facilitation of said abuse & decision to stay with my stepfather despite irrefutable proof that he was abusing me, which was/is probably even more painful but that's a whole other topic...) but I vowed to comes to terms with what happened --as best I could; one never truly "gets over" something like that -- before starting my own family because I didn't want what happened to me to because me to be overly paranoid as a mother & project my own issues onto my children. I still have some PTSD symptoms but they are comparatively minor & manageable now & I no longer view all males who dare to so much as look at a child as potential pedophiles.Lots of quality therapy helped, as did several extremely supportive family members & close friends &, most of all, my amazingly supportive, patient & understanding DH & my desire to create a healthy environment with two stable parents for our (then future) children. Life dealt me a very difficult hand in many ways but also an amazingly wonderful one in others. Overall, I consider myself to be very lucky.

[Anonymous]

Zero days old. There's no reason why she should feel like she has to cover up because she's a girl.

Girls have girl bodies. Women have woman bodies. That's how things work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can someone explain to me why it is acceptable for an 8 year old boy to show his belly button but immodest and inappropriate for an eight year old girl to do the same?

Thanks!

Okay so let girls go topless too. If men can show their nipples at the pool so should girls.

Sad how you are rationalizing revealing bikinis are totally cool for little girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Zero days old. There's no reason why she should feel like she has to cover up because she's a girl.

Girls have girl bodies. Women have woman bodies. That's how things work.

Not how men and boys see it. They see tits and ass. The more the girls show, the more they stare. If your daughter prefers that type of attention and you are okay with it, that is fine. But don't make it seem like a skimpy low cut bikini and a one piece are the same for an 11yr old.

[Anonymous]

My daughter has been wearing them since she was 3 and still wears them at 12, but she is not over developed like most young girls these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter has been wearing them since she was 3 and still wears them at 12, but she is not over developed like most young girls these days.

Shorter PP: my daughter has an appropriate body, unlike those other girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Zero days old. There's no reason why she should feel like she has to cover up because she's a girl.

Girls have girl bodies. Women have woman bodies. That's how things work.

Not how men and boys see it. They see tits and ass. The more the girls show, the more they stare. If your daughter prefers that type of attention and you are okay with it, that is fine. But don't make it seem like a skimpy low cut bikini and a one piece are the same for an 11yr old.

Who is doing something inappropriate here?

1. An 11-year-old wearing a bikini.
2. Grown men leering at an 11-year-old wearing a bikini.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter has been wearing them since she was 3 and still wears them at 12, but she is not over developed like most young girls these days.

So when she does develop she will wear one piece bathing suits? That is weird. Just stay modest all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter has been wearing them since she was 3 and still wears them at 12, but she is not over developed like most young girls these days.

So when she does develop she will wear one piece bathing suits? That is weird. Just stay modest all the time.

How do you define "modest"? By the square yards of fabric covering a girl's or woman's body? What about this definition of modesty: the quality of not being too proud or confident about yourself or your abilities?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Zero days old. There's no reason why she should feel like she has to cover up because she's a girl.

Girls have girl bodies. Women have woman bodies. That's how things work.

Not how men and boys see it. They see tits and ass. The more the girls show, the more they stare. If your daughter prefers that type of attention and you are okay with it, that is fine. But don't make it seem like a skimpy low cut bikini and a one piece are the same for an 11yr old.

Who is doing something inappropriate here?

1. An 11-year-old wearing a bikini.
2. Grown men leering at an 11-year-old wearing a bikini.

what about the prophet Mohammed who married a 9 year old girl Aisha? is that more in appropriate? why is that normal and worshiped?

Picture this historical setting: A 49 year old man asks his best friend if he could have his permission to marry his 6 year old daughter. His friend agrees. The man then visits his best friend’s house and speaks with the 6 year old daughter. Her parents watch as the he proposes marriage to the child. He is serious; he wants to marry the little girl and is asking for her consent. The little child says nothing; she only stares at him in silence.

The Islamic source materials state that Muhammad proposed marriage to Aisha when she was 6. He assumed her silence constituted her consent. Some 2 to 3 years later, just after he had fled to Medina, he consummated his marriage with her. He was 52 and she was 9. This occurred prior to Aisha’s first menses and by Islam’s legal definition Aisha was still considered a child. Islam teaches that a child enters adulthood at the beginning of puberty. (This is scientifically inaccurate, the onset of puberty does not equal adulthood).

The bottom line is Muhammad, the creator of Islam, revered by his followers, had sex with a child! Worse, Muhammad's action and teachings on marriage established an Islamic precedent and Islamic law allows female children to be married off and engaged in sex (Quran 65:4). As will be shown, this leads to physical, and psychological, damage to the child.

and you folks are worried about a bikini on an 11 year old? grow up and see what is happening in the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Zero days old. There's no reason why she should feel like she has to cover up because she's a girl.

Girls have girl bodies. Women have woman bodies. That's how things work.

Not how men and boys see it. They see tits and ass. The more the girls show, the more they stare. If your daughter prefers that type of attention and you are okay with it, that is fine. But don't make it seem like a skimpy low cut bikini and a one piece are the same for an 11yr old.

Who is doing something inappropriate here?

1. An 11-year-old wearing a bikini.
2. Grown men leering at an 11-year-old wearing a bikini.

what about the prophet Mohammed who married a 9 year old girl Aisha? is that more in appropriate? why is that normal and worshiped?

Picture this historical setting: A 49 year old man asks his best friend if he could have his permission to marry his 6 year old daughter. His friend agrees. The man then visits his best friend’s house and speaks with the 6 year old daughter. Her parents watch as the he proposes marriage to the child. He is serious; he wants to marry the little girl and is asking for her consent. The little child says nothing; she only stares at him in silence.

The Islamic source materials state that Muhammad proposed marriage to Aisha when she was 6. He assumed her silence constituted her consent. Some 2 to 3 years later, just after he had fled to Medina, he consummated his marriage with her. He was 52 and she was 9. This occurred prior to Aisha’s first menses and by Islam’s legal definition Aisha was still considered a child. Islam teaches that a child enters adulthood at the beginning of puberty. (This is scientifically inaccurate, the onset of puberty does not equal adulthood).

The bottom line is Muhammad, the creator of Islam, revered by his followers, had sex with a child! Worse, Muhammad's action and teachings on marriage established an Islamic precedent and Islamic law allows female children to be married off and engaged in sex (Quran 65:4). As will be shown, this leads to physical, and psychological, damage to the child.

and you folks are worried about a bikini on an 11 year old? grow up and see what is happening in the world.

Says the mom of the tween in string bikinis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Zero days old. There's no reason why she should feel like she has to cover up because she's a girl.

Girls have girl bodies. Women have woman bodies. That's how things work.

Not how men and boys see it. They see tits and ass. The more the girls show, the more they stare. If your daughter prefers that type of attention and you are okay with it, that is fine. But don't make it seem like a skimpy low cut bikini and a one piece are the same for an 11yr old.

Who is doing something inappropriate here?

1. An 11-year-old wearing a bikini.
2. Grown men leering at an 11-year-old wearing a bikini.

what about the prophet Mohammed who married a 9 year old girl Aisha? is that more in appropriate? why is that normal and worshiped?

Good grief. What about him? He's not at the swimming pools my kids go to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, FFS. There is nothing sexual about a 7-year-old girl's body no matter what she is wearing (or not wearing) unless she's being viewed by a pedophile, in which case it STILL doesn't matter what she is or isn't wearing.

I was sexually abused by my stepfather starting at the age of 6.5. Had he seen me in a 2 piece bathing suit? Yes. So had my father, uncles, male cousins,grandfathers, step-grandfathers, older stepbrothers, & male friends of the family, most of whom were alone with me on numerous occasions, as well.Yet none of these other men/older boys sexually abused me.Because they weren't pedophiles.

My sister was 18 months older than me & also wore a 2 piece bathing suit in front of our stepfather multiple times each summer. We looked exactly alike except she was a bit taller, tanned a bit more than I did & was slender while I was downright scrawny. If one of us looked more "attractive" in a bikini as a young girl, it was definitely her. Yet our stepfather never sexually abused her. This was almost certainly not because he looked at us in our (often identical) bikinis & thought my prepubescent body looked "sexier" than her prepubescent body but because, due to various factors completely unrelated to our bodies or swimwear choices, I was easier to "groom" & less likely to tell anyone about the abuse.

I could've danced in front of most of the adult/teenaged males in my life naked at 7 & they would have still never had sex with me or touched me in an inappropriate manner. Because they weren't pedophiles. I could've worn nothing but long sleeve shirts & pants or skirts that didn't show so much as my ankle & swam in a full body, baggy wetsuit in front of my stepfather &he still would've molested & raped me. Because he was a pedophile.

Oh, & FWIW, I saw absolutely no correlation whatsoever between when or if my various friends/ female cousins wore bikinis & the age at which they became sexually active.

+1billion on this post!

I'm sorry for everything you've been through. I'm also so glad that you appear to recognize that what happened was in no way your fault, regardless of what you did or did not wear in front of your stepfather. Thanks to how traumatic what happened to you surely was in & of itself, much less coupled with living in a society that seems to, sadly, be full of victim blaming, however, I'm guessing it took you a while to get to where you are now You are a very strong woman.

Thank you for your kind words.

It did take many, many years to get to where I am now in regards to my stepmother's abuse (& my mother's facilitation of said abuse & decision to stay with my stepfather despite irrefutable proof that he was abusing me, which was/is probably even more painful but that's a whole other topic...) but I vowed to comes to terms with what happened --as best I could; one never truly "gets over" something like that -- before starting my own family because I didn't want what happened to me to because me to be overly paranoid as a mother & project my own issues onto my children. I still have some PTSD symptoms but they are comparatively minor & manageable now & I no longer view all males who dare to so much as look at a child as potential pedophiles.Lots of quality therapy helped, as did several extremely supportive family members & close friends &, most of all, my amazingly supportive, patient & understanding DH & my desire to create a healthy environment with two stable parents for our (then future) children. Life dealt me a very difficult hand in many ways but also an amazingly wonderful one in others. Overall, I consider myself to be very lucky.

Great posts. Tragic posts. 6.5? Raped? I often can't fathom how it's possible. I mean from both a psychological standpoint and a physical one. How can vaginal intercourse even be possible at that age? Obviously only with severe pain and emotional trauma and rape. So sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Zero days old. There's no reason why she should feel like she has to cover up because she's a girl.

Girls have girl bodies. Women have woman bodies. That's how things work.

Not how men and boys see it. They see tits and ass. The more the girls show, the more they stare. If your daughter prefers that type of attention and you are okay with it, that is fine. But don't make it seem like a skimpy low cut bikini and a one piece are the same for an 11yr old.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Zero days old. There's no reason why she should feel like she has to cover up because she's a girl.

Girls have girl bodies. Women have woman bodies. That's how things work.

Not how men and boys see it. They see tits and ass. The more the girls show, the more they stare. If your daughter prefers that type of attention and you are okay with it, that is fine. But don't make it seem like a skimpy low cut bikini and a one piece are the same for an 11yr old.

+1

F-ed up country or culture, if this is how it's perceived. We just came back from another country where people wore and didn't wear all kinds of things. Young and old. No one batted an eye on the family oriented beach.

And I'll tell you, I've traveled to countries where my pretty darn conservative American style dress was perceived as risqué. But no, I didn't feel like covering myself up from head to toe with a big ol' modesty sack just because I stepped out in public, thank you very much. Get over yourselves.