At what point does your happiness outweigh the happiness of your kids?

[Anonymous]

For those who have separated/divorced while their kids were still in school, at what point did you decide enough was enough with your unhappiness? Many spouses stay together "for the kids". But, for many there's a break point. What was it for you if you want through this?

[Anonymous]

If there is no abuse and infidelity is involved and its only about mild to moderate differences, parents should stay together for the sake of little people they brought into this world.

However, if you sincerely feel that its a toxic set up hurting all involved than know that marriage isn't a life sentence, you can come out alive.

[Anonymous]

Grow up and be the responsible parent and spouse that you vowed to be
A life of selfishness is bad for everyone including your own soul

[Anonymous]

For example, "we just grew apart", he doesn't do chores, she doesn't get along with MIL, aren't valid reasons to disrupt children's world.

[Anonymous]

When your "unhappiness" harms the children like abuse or addiction

But if you really can't do with it , just get will be o k and your children will be o k. Marriage is not for the faint hearted or weak

[Anonymous]

From the moment they are born, you should always put yourself first. Your kids will be happy when you are happy.

[Anonymous]

I usually keep myself happy until it negatively affects my kids in ways they won’t be able to cope or bounce back from. Like happy to be single but won’t move in an unvetted man and if my kid says the man makes them uncomfortable he has to go

[Anonymous]

My unhappiness came from abuse. Staying wasn't an option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From the moment they are born, you should always put yourself first. Your kids will be happy when you are happy.

That's not true. If you have a kid who thrives on being social and you're happiest at home with a book every day, your kid will not be happy. If you're a simple eater who somehow birthed a foodie, as the adult you control the food and your kid will not be happy eating the same simple 7 dinners over and over. There are a million examples.

[Anonymous]

Always. If you aren't happy, get out. Your kids will know that you're unhappy, you won't be as good of a parent, and they will wish you were happy.

Signed,
A child of divorce who was so happy when my parents finally divorced because they were both miserable in the marriage

[Anonymous]

My breaking point came when the emotional abuse became so bad that I was crying daily in front of my kids. I eventually became suicidal. All of the fighting, calling me names, and treating me bad piled up and I just didn’t want to exist anymore. I hit rock bottom. I wanted to fight for my life, for my sake and my kids sake, so the marriage ended. And once I left I wasn’t depressed anymore.

[Anonymous]

At the point where me being unhappy actively hurt my kid AND divorce will actually resolve the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Always. If you aren't happy, get out. Your kids will know that you're unhappy, you won't be as good of a parent, and they will wish you were happy.

Signed,
A child of divorce who was so happy when my parents finally divorced because they were both miserable in the marriage

My brother and I both separately, asked our dad to divorce our mom. They were so miserable. We thought he had a chance.

[Anonymous]

That's a very individual decision, OP. You'll know when you can't take it anymore and you need to leave.

[Anonymous]

My happiness never is more important than my kids happiness.

FFS , what is wrong with you people?