Nearly half the kids in my kids private have a diagnosis

[Anonymous]

Data from a meeting with had with the head of school.

I say this for 2 reasons:
1. mainstreams privates do have neurodiverse kids.
2. It is CRAZY how many kids get dx now. Kids on so many meds. I know it's necessary for the most part (certainly for mine). But is it really a neurodiversity if half the population has it? Idk exactly what my thought is but would love to hear others thoughts...

[Anonymous]

I think there is a large spectrum of neurodiversity - but I do think that now we know now to identify it, it’s going to seem like it’s more common bc it’s just identifiable. I don’t think all neurodivergence needs meds, but maybe certain accommodations (one of my kids has not been evaluated but has some sensory issues like major sensitivity to loud noise, so in that case, just needs some noise cancelling headphones and a lot of downtime when they get home from school to decompress).

[Anonymous]

I am not ADHD but took adderall to help with testing. It’s crazy how much harder I can work and that I got better grades when on it. I think a lot of parents want that for their kids.

[Anonymous]

My kid when on a class trip and said there were maybe 3 kids out of the whole class that didn’t take any meds (which was known bc they get dispensed by a teacher).

[Anonymous]

I have ADHD and my kid does too and I often have the thought that maybe none of this is actually "neurodiversity" but just that society is set up for a certain type of brain and everyone else either struggles or needs outside assistance to cope. Like I know ADHD is real, I have experienced it, but sometimes I question whether it's actually a divergence from "typical" neurology or if actually it's fairly typical but just not optimal for a society structured the ways ours is.

I also think it's highly likely that my dad and my DH have undiagnosed ADHD but I think especially with my dad it looks different because he had a SAHM who ran his life for most of his working years so he looked brilliant and high functioning but if he'd had to pay his bills and dress himself and feed himself and take care of his kids and god forbid learn how to use email and text and remember 700 passwords he would have absolutely lost it

Just a thought

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Data from a meeting with had with the head of school.

I say this for 2 reasons:
1. mainstreams privates do have neurodiverse kids.
2. It is CRAZY how many kids get dx now. Kids on so many meds. I know it's necessary for the most part (certainly for mine). But is it really a neurodiversity if half the population has it? Idk exactly what my thought is but would love to hear others thoughts...

I am totally with you. My 5 yo was diagnosed with autism a few months ago. Not something we were entirely expecting necessarily but also don't doubt the diagnosis. We are fine and DC is doing well thanks to supports we started before diagnosis but of course feel like this is a Big Deal. Turns out at least half the moms I know (friends and acquaintances) have a concern about their kid having ASD or ADHD or have already been diagnosed. From my perspective it's a good thing to identify these issues early but also feel like the majority of these kids can't get all the supports these diagnoses call for. Can we embed them more in schools to support every child? What does it look like to support a population where half the kids have ASD or ADHD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have ADHD and my kid does too and I often have the thought that maybe none of this is actually "neurodiversity" but just that society is set up for a certain type of brain and everyone else either struggles or needs outside assistance to cope. Like I know ADHD is real, I have experienced it, but sometimes I question whether it's actually a divergence from "typical" neurology or if actually it's fairly typical but just not optimal for a society structured the ways ours is.



I also think it's highly likely that my dad and my DH have undiagnosed ADHD but I think especially with my dad it looks different because he had a SAHM who ran his life for most of his working years so he looked brilliant and high functioning but if he'd had to pay his bills and dress himself and feed himself and take care of his kids and god forbid learn how to use email and text and remember 700 passwords he would have absolutely lost it

Just a thought

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Data from a meeting with had with the head of school.

I say this for 2 reasons:
1. mainstreams privates do have neurodiverse kids.
2. It is CRAZY how many kids get dx now. Kids on so many meds. I know it's necessary for the most part (certainly for mine). But is it really a neurodiversity if half the population has it? Idk exactly what my thought is but would love to hear others thoughts...

It's not half the population. It's half the population of your school. Which was probably chosen by parents for those particular children as a place that will be suitable for neurodiverse kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have ADHD and my kid does too and I often have the thought that maybe none of this is actually "neurodiversity" but just that society is set up for a certain type of brain and everyone else either struggles or needs outside assistance to cope. Like I know ADHD is real, I have experienced it, but sometimes I question whether it's actually a divergence from "typical" neurology or if actually it's fairly typical but just not optimal for a society structured the ways ours is.

I also think it's highly likely that my dad and my DH have undiagnosed ADHD but I think especially with my dad it looks different because he had a SAHM who ran his life for most of his working years so he looked brilliant and high functioning but if he'd had to pay his bills and dress himself and feed himself and take care of his kids and god forbid learn how to use email and text and remember 700 passwords he would have absolutely lost it

Just a thought

This is nearly identical to my situation and how I feel about the idea of “neurodiversity”.

Interestingly, there’s some speculation that certain ADHD traits were valuable in hunter/gatherer societies. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hunter_versus_farmer_hypothesis

It makes sense to me that not everyone’s brain is suited to the same tasks. Some people naturally better at math, others at art, others at reading and writing.


And I’m not saying this as “oh, classrooms are awful for energetic boys!!” but that the limited ways of learning for kids put some kids at a disadvantage. Even if a kid is doing well academically, she could be using a lot of mental resources to keep it together in school that she wouldn’t need to use if the learning environment was different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have ADHD and my kid does too and I often have the thought that maybe none of this is actually "neurodiversity" but just that society is set up for a certain type of brain and everyone else either struggles or needs outside assistance to cope. Like I know ADHD is real, I have experienced it, but sometimes I question whether it's actually a divergence from "typical" neurology or if actually it's fairly typical but just not optimal for a society structured the ways ours is.

I also think it's highly likely that my dad and my DH have undiagnosed ADHD but I think especially with my dad it looks different because he had a SAHM who ran his life for most of his working years so he looked brilliant and high functioning but if he'd had to pay his bills and dress himself and feed himself and take care of his kids and god forbid learn how to use email and text and remember 700 passwords he would have absolutely lost it

Just a thought

This executive functioning deficients are real, and a chronic symptom of ADHD and/or ASD.

Do your best. If you do lose it (ie anxiety, depression), get meds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Data from a meeting with had with the head of school.

I say this for 2 reasons:
1. mainstreams privates do have neurodiverse kids.
2. It is CRAZY how many kids get dx now. Kids on so many meds. I know it's necessary for the most part (certainly for mine). But is it really a neurodiversity if half the population has it? Idk exactly what my thought is but would love to hear others thoughts...

It's not half the population. It's half the population of your school. Which was probably chosen by parents for those particular children as a place that will be suitable for neurodiverse kids.

op - it's not at ALL suitable for neurodiverse kids per se. It's just a mainstream, very competitive progressive private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not ADHD but took adderall to help with testing. It’s crazy how much harder I can work and that I got better grades when on it. I think a lot of parents want that for their kids.

this is the unspoken truth …

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Data from a meeting with had with the head of school.

I say this for 2 reasons:
1. mainstreams privates do have neurodiverse kids.
2. It is CRAZY how many kids get dx now. Kids on so many meds. I know it's necessary for the most part (certainly for mine). But is it really a neurodiversity if half the population has it? Idk exactly what my thought is but would love to hear others thoughts...

It's not half the population. It's half the population of your school. Which was probably chosen by parents for those particular children as a place that will be suitable for neurodiverse kids.

op - it's not at ALL suitable for neurodiverse kids per se. It's just a mainstream, very competitive progressive private.

there’s an ethos where parents really do medicate for anything that they believe is not optimal. then there are parents who believe their child needs the competitive advantage of stimulants or extra time on tests because everyone else gets it. the same parents who believe public school isn’t good enough also believe that any potential weakness in their kid should be fixed - or any advantage taken.

I guarantee you that with some exceptions, your school is not actually admitting truly 2e kids.

[Anonymous]

Of course private school kids have so many diagnoses. Rich people buy diagnoses so their kids can get accommodations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have ADHD and my kid does too and I often have the thought that maybe none of this is actually "neurodiversity" but just that society is set up for a certain type of brain and everyone else either struggles or needs outside assistance to cope. Like I know ADHD is real, I have experienced it, but sometimes I question whether it's actually a divergence from "typical" neurology or if actually it's fairly typical but just not optimal for a society structured the ways ours is.

I also think it's highly likely that my dad and my DH have undiagnosed ADHD but I think especially with my dad it looks different because he had a SAHM who ran his life for most of his working years so he looked brilliant and high functioning but if he'd had to pay his bills and dress himself and feed himself and take care of his kids and god forbid learn how to use email and text and remember 700 passwords he would have absolutely lost it

Just a thought

I think you are really on to something here - especially because has changed pretty dramatically since I was a kid. They require a lot more focus, concentration, and independent work from children that wasn't required when I was a kid. I don't know that I could have handled what my kids deal with in school now.