My SO is upset with me over the silliest/dumbest thing

[Anonymous]

My SO and I are long distance (for now) and she drove back home last night because she was starting her new job the next day. I helped her load up her car, kissed her, then said, “good luck tomorrow. Let me know how it goes”. Now she and her team got laid off about a year ago, and although she worked on short stint contracts this is the first FTE she’s had since so I knew she’s was anxious. Anyways, I just went about my day and didn’t contact her because I knew she was working. She called me an hour ago and asked why I didn’t contact her and ask her how things went or wish her good luck. I told her because I just said that to her the day before. She looked both kind of annoyed and disappointed (we were on FaceTime).

Am I missing something here?

[Anonymous]

You are missing the chance to offer a repair. When there's a fracture even a small little fair one like this, if the relationship is valuable to you, offer up the repair!

[Anonymous]

Not missing anything. She just hoped you'd do it all twice.

[Anonymous]

I would not want to disturb or distract on day 1. I would only respond to texts she sent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are missing the chance to offer a repair. When there's a fracture even a small little fair one like this, if the relationship is valuable to you, offer up the repair!

This. It’s that simple. Rather than defending yourself, just say something along the lines of, oh, I’ve been thinking about you all day and didn’t want to bother you so was waiting for you to call, how did it go? It’s nit rocket science.

[Anonymous]

Dump her. She is needy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are missing the chance to offer a repair. When there's a fracture even a small little fair one like this, if the relationship is valuable to you, offer up the repair!

This. It’s that simple. Rather than defending yourself, just say something along the lines of, oh, I’ve been thinking about you all day and didn’t want to bother you so was waiting for you to call, how did it go? It’s nit rocket science.

Anonymous wrote:Dump her. She is needy.

Agree with both of these. If it's not her norm to expect you to read her mind and pout let it go and go with response one.

If this is the norm for her well you should take it as a warning that this is how she is and is not likely to change, so at another point you with need to seriously work on communication possibly in therapy or let her go.

[Anonymous]

You were supposed to read her mind buddy...didn't you get the memo? Come on you should know this every man must read a woman's mind else he is f***ked

[Anonymous]

Would’ve been nice of you to check in. My friend’s boyfriend sent her flowers the first day of her new job. She was so touched and the thoughtful and unexpected gesture.

We do things for people we care about. If you don’t get it, I feel bad for you.

[Anonymous]

So she looked annoyed but dis she actually say anything about it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So she looked annoyed but dis she actually say anything about it?

Of course not. It’s the second test.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So she looked annoyed but dis she actually say anything about it?

Of course not. It’s the second test.

Or she realized it wasn’t worth bringing it up so she let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are missing the chance to offer a repair. When there's a fracture even a small little fair one like this, if the relationship is valuable to you, offer up the repair!

This. It’s that simple. Rather than defending yourself, just say something along the lines of, oh, I’ve been thinking about you all day and didn’t want to bother you so was waiting for you to call, how did it go? It’s nit rocket science.

Anonymous wrote:Dump her. She is needy.

Agree with both of these. If it's not her norm to expect you to read her mind and pout let it go and go with response one.

If this is the norm for her well you should take it as a warning that this is how she is and is not likely to change, so at another point you with need to seriously work on communication possibly in therapy or let her go.

You failed to list option 3- what if this is OP’s norm? Not to provide support, do small nice gestures for his partner?

How come you didn’t see if this was his pattern?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would’ve been nice of you to check in. My friend’s boyfriend sent her flowers the first day of her new job. She was so touched and the thoughtful and unexpected gesture.

We do things for people we care about. If you don’t get it, I feel bad for you.

My ex did this. He was also very insecure and wanted to make it known I was taken. Aside from that, it felt extremely unprofessional and not the first impression I wanted to make.

[Anonymous]

Were you suppose to know she would be scrolling her phone on the FIRST day of her new job? That’s a great way to make a good impression.