I really want to just leave

[Anonymous]

“b/c that shouldn't be a large enough diagnosis that you are this miserable and I believe that you both ARE this miserable and distressed”

What? This response is infuriating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:@23:04 how do you know that poster has not done any of what you suggested. The poster was sharing how difficult (if not impossible) it is to find respite care.

Why would you say a child diagnosed with ADHD, mood disorder and anxiety could not be verbally or physically aggressive?

Your reply is judgmental and not helpful.

+1

And also that poster likely has a job that is needed to provide housing and food for their child. Not everyone can just up and move somewhere rural and relax on a farm. Who is going to fund this?

The PP pointed out the lack of safety net in this country to help families in this situation and your advice is to go live a lifestyle that not many could fund.

[Anonymous]

Do you have other children? I ask that as a sibling of a profoundly special needs child. I know my mother would have loved to run away, and probably fantasized about it all the time. As a child, I had no idea what she was going through. As an adult, I have so much respect for her. Despite what she was dealing with, she was still always there for my sibling and me. Was it perfect? No. But I appreciate the stability she provided, and can’t imagine what would have become of us if she hadn’t remained strong.

[Anonymous]

Some special education paraeducators like to have extra hours. I know at least one at our school who works after school to provide respite care. Not sure how you find them exactly but this would be a good route to try

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have other children? I ask that as a sibling of a profoundly special needs child. I know my mother would have loved to run away, and probably fantasized about it all the time. As a child, I had no idea what she was going through. As an adult, I have so much respect for her. Despite what she was dealing with, she was still always there for my sibling and me. Was it perfect? No. But I appreciate the stability she provided, and can’t imagine what would have become of us if she hadn’t remained strong.

Was ended up happening with your sibling?

[Anonymous]

Yes, lots of people have these feelings! No solutions here, just understand you.

[Anonymous]

OP, are you anywhere near McLean Bible Church? They used to offer respite care. No idea if your dc qualifies, but my heart goes out to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:@23:04 how do you know that poster has not done any of what you suggested. The poster was sharing how difficult (if not impossible) it is to find respite care.

Why would you say a child diagnosed with ADHD, mood disorder and anxiety could not be verbally or physically aggressive?

Your reply is judgmental and not helpful.

+1

And also that poster likely has a job that is needed to provide housing and food for their child. Not everyone can just up and move somewhere rural and relax on a farm. Who is going to fund this?

The PP pointed out the lack of safety net in this country to help families in this situation and your advice is to go live a lifestyle that not many could fund.

No one said move to a farm
No one said don’t have a job
The advice was to make any life choice that will lessen the stress even if it means making big change. Better than the alternative. And also I’m not holding my breath for the country to change in the next few months. Op needs solutions now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:your child has clinical anxiety and depression and ADHD- maybe you need to change your lifestyle- move out to somewhere more rural where they will have more access to nature and less academic pressure at school, do something b/c that shouldn't be a large enough diagnosis that you are this miserable and I believe that you both ARE this miserable and distressed.

Either the healthcare is system is missing a diagnosis or- more ikely- the way our modern lives are structured is beyond what you and your child can cope with and its not working. It is ok to live a lifestyle which is different than the picket fence and the norm and think outside of the box for a solution even though it is very very difficult and I have so much sympathy for your distress but your child must be in so much MORE distress.

Maybe pull them out of the system and just relax as a family for a while- what is it that is making them physically violent and maladjusted, isn't it better for them to "fall behind' academically and take some time to heal? there is no 'schedule', the is no competition, there is only you own well being and their's and neither of you are even close to being ok right now.

Good job womansplaining. OP just wants some sympathy and acknowledgment that her unpopular feelings are valid and shared by others.

OP, it sucks. There are lots of folks here who understand you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:@23:04 how do you know that poster has not done any of what you suggested. The poster was sharing how difficult (if not impossible) it is to find respite care.

Why would you say a child diagnosed with ADHD, mood disorder and anxiety could not be verbally or physically aggressive?

Your reply is judgmental and not helpful.

+1

And also that poster likely has a job that is needed to provide housing and food for their child. Not everyone can just up and move somewhere rural and relax on a farm. Who is going to fund this?

The PP pointed out the lack of safety net in this country to help families in this situation and your advice is to go live a lifestyle that not many could fund.

No one said move to a farm
No one said don’t have a job
The advice was to make any life choice that will lessen the stress even if it means making big change. Better than the alternative. And also I’m not holding my breath for the country to change in the next few months. Op needs solutions now

There is significantly less support for complex adolescent special needs in rural areas. Less psychiatrists. Less therapists. There is trauma from being pulled away from everything you know. This is a strange fantasy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“b/c that shouldn't be a large enough diagnosis that you are this miserable and I believe that you both ARE this miserable and distressed”

What? This response is infuriating.

I agree about this response being absolutely disgusting- especially on a SN board. This area has so many supports for autism, intellectual disabilities, Down’s, etc… but for some reason ADHD/anxiety isn’t considered severe enough. But OP, know that there are out of us out there that have experienced the worst of these diagnosis and there’s nothing minor about them.

Do you feel the school is appropriate? When my child was that age, we were getting calls or emails almost daily which caused even more stress. In that situation, taking your child out of the environment might be the right move.

Is there any part of the day that relaxes you? Work? Can you extend that time? Are there friends who relax you?

I’m sorry things are so hard. They were for me too and o wish I could be there to support you.