Men are like…

[Anonymous]

Chocolate and coffee, I want them rich. I’m with someone who makes more money than me but is in debt and doesn’t seem to be very smart with finances. Everything else is great. We are in our 40s and because the finance piece is importantly to me I think I need to leave. Would you marry someone if everything was perfect minus them being in debt?

[Anonymous]

What kind of debt?

[Anonymous]

Hm, the reason would be important to me. In debt because they paid their way through med/law school? Or had medical expenses from a serious issue? Or recently bought a house & have a mortgage?

I’m ok with all of that.

Are they in debt because they can’t keep up with their monthly credit card expenditures? Or they bought/leased a flashy car that is beyond their means? If so, it’s a red flag for me.

[Anonymous]

Hmm well you're in your 40s I don't think you'll have many rich suitors at this point.

[Anonymous]

Why don't you help him fix it. Many clueless people out there like two of my exes. One even got me into $40k credit card debt.
The other one thought he has a decent job and can work forever. Meanwhile I'm the minimum wage worker with half a million. It's about budgeting.
So glad to have got rid of both of them. Such a turn off.

[Anonymous]

Women are like fruit.. I don't dare say more

[Anonymous]

The thread title is like…

Bad.

[Anonymous]

It depends on what the debt is for. You know, people in finance like to say "good debt" vs "bad debt." If his debt is on frivolous things like charges on credit cards, cars, going out, etc then yes that is a problem.

[Anonymous]

The debt is a combination from his divorce a couple years ago and a little is consumer debt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends on what the debt is for. You know, people in finance like to say "good debt" vs "bad debt." If his debt is on frivolous things like charges on credit cards, cars, going out, etc then yes that is a problem.

All debt is bad debt because it’s debt

[Anonymous]

Debt from a divorce I do not consider a red flag. I’m in my 40s and also went through a nasty divorce that I’m still paying off. 🤷‍♀️

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Chocolate and coffee, I want them rich. I’m with someone who makes more money than me but is in debt and doesn’t seem to be very smart with finances. Everything else is great. We are in our 40s and because the finance piece is importantly to me I think I need to leave. Would you marry someone if everything was perfect minus them being in debt?

Marry them? No. Marriage = becoming a financial unit.

"Hang out" with them? Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends on what the debt is for. You know, people in finance like to say "good debt" vs "bad debt." If his debt is on frivolous things like charges on credit cards, cars, going out, etc then yes that is a problem.

All debt is bad debt because it’s debt

Mortgages are not necessarily bad.

[Anonymous]

If you've secured a mortgage at or below the rate of inflation the bank basically paid you to take their money.

[Anonymous]

Back when I could itemize, mortgage interest (and, to a lesser extent, student loan interest) was tax-deductible. I would agree that car loans and credit card debt are bad.